


It Was You

by skyheart



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, F/M, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, First Kiss, First Love, Gen, Heartache, Ignatz doesn't know what bi is but he'll learn maybe, M/M, My First Fanfic, Rarepair, Romance, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:26:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 34,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24228073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyheart/pseuds/skyheart
Summary: Once upon a time a knight met an artist. Things were confusing for the both of them.Ignatz and Ashe are two young aspiring knights trying to navigate the changing political landscape of their homeland and their feelings for each other. Ashe is confident while Ignatz is reluctant. As the world shifts and changes so do they.
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Ignatz Victor, Maya Kirsten/Ignatz Victor
Comments: 15
Kudos: 18





	1. The Boy in the Store

**Author's Note:**

> Hello the wonderful readers to AO3, I much like any of you folks am stuck rarepair hell. I've read through the small amount of fiction with these two soft boys and part of me knew I had to add to it. I give you my first fanfiction.  
> If you have any suggestions or would like to help me improve please feel free to reach out on skyheartiswriting@gmail.com

The first time Ignatz remembered having feels for a boy was when he was twelve. It was early summer and he was sitting at the counter of his parents' shop drawing. Someone important must have walked in because his parents immediately made their way over to them with enthusiasm that was reserved only for the nobles. It was a man with three boys and a little girl. The oldest boy was the spitting image of the man his parents were fawning over, the other children were more meek and fragile in comparison. One of them was a boy around Ignatz's age who seemed very serious as he eyed various things around the store. He was not making eye contact with anyone else while the older boy and the two younger children were laughing and playing around.

"We're just stopping for supplies. We're doing some traveling before my son Christophe begins at the Officers Academy this fall," said the older man to Ignatz's father.

"Well you must be very proud," said Ignatz's mother adjusting her glasses.

"I can tell just by looking at him that he shall make a great a leader," said Ignatz's father packing up some supplies. "Anything for the younger ones?" He asked, always the salesman. While he had no other plans in life at the tender age of twelve Ignatz was somewhat grateful that the merchant shop his family owned wouldn't be passed down to him. He couldn't imagine talking to people as much as his parents did. He was too shy and easily embarrassed.

"Lord Lonato can we?" cried the tiny girl holding a sweet that they sold from a local candy maker. Her beautiful green eye grew wide as she gave the man Lonato, Ignatz assumed a toothless smile. The littlest boy was clasping her hand with an equally adorable face.

"Now, you two had enough sweets for today," said Lonato. 

The two children groaned.

Ignatz decided to ignore the family and return back to his artwork. He was learning to how to capture beautiful things as realistically as possible. His subject at the moment were the flowers that his mother kept near the counter. This week's arrangement was a bundle of delightful smelling peonies in various shades of pink and red that had just bloomed today. As he began to work on outlining the steams he heard a subtle rustle next to him. He turned over to see what was causing a slight disturbance. His father was too busy trying to suck up to the nobleman and his children to notice that the boy around Ignatz age was slipping sweets into his coat pocket.

Green eyes locked on to Ignatz's eyes and his heart leaped out of his chest as he noticed the young thief for the first time. Angelic was the only word that he could think of. His skin was the color of cream with sprinkles of freckles like stars around his face. Locks of soft-looking silver hair framed his round face making Ignatz want to touch it. He was pretty, although Ignatz wasn't sure if boys could be pretty.

With a smirk the boy put a finger to his lips gesturing Ignatz to keep quiet about what he just saw.

Ignatz in his confusion just nodded and remained silent as he watched the boys rejoin his family on the other side of the store. Once Lonato bought the goods that they needed the family walked out the door with silver-haired boy giving one glance back Ignatz with a subtle wink before walking out the door.

Embarrassed by the whole exchange Ignatz felt his cheeks warm up as he looked down at his sketch. At first, he thought he was doing a good job at mimicking the loveliness of flowers before him, but he realized before moments ago he didn't know the meaning of the word lovely. He placed his hand on his heart concerned for the rate at which is was beating and knots he felt in his stomach. He went to his mother who felt his head and told her he wasn't ill.

* * *

Years before starting at the academy Ignatz had shared his first kiss with a girl, Maya the sister of his good friend and classmate Raphael. Raphael would be considered a portrait of masculinity tall and broad with muscles since childhood. Maya on the other hand was femininity defined, with long blond hair and golden eyes that matched her brothers. She was curvy and at fifteen she had already mastered the art of grace. She would make a beautiful bride. Ignatz had never considered that she could be his bride, until that day.

They were spending the day together having a picnic. Maya said she wanted to have a perfect date with her two favorite boys. They had arrived at the park, Ignatz had picked Maya some flowers which she braided into her hair while Raphael had tried and failed to fish them lunch. Thankfully Maya had packed a lot of fresh baked goods, fruit, and cheese for them to snack on like champions. After they stuffed themselves with all the goodies she had packed for them Raphael stretched out on the blanket and relaxed. Ignatz had brought his paints hoping to catch the sunset by the lake that they were resting near. Maya had brought a small flute and began to play a lullaby that soothed Raphael into a sun wrapped nap.

"My dear brother seems to have dozed off," commented Maya putting away her flute.

"Must have been all the treats. They were delicious," said Ignatz.

Maya blushed. "I'm glad you liked them. I just wanted to spend some time with you guys, since our parents are heading out of town this week I figured it would be nice to have some extra company. We haven't had much time together recently," she said dramatically.

Ignatz nodded. Sixteen was becoming more complicated for Ignatz, he spent hours a day worrying about his future. With his brother taking over the shop he knew that eventually, he'd have to work out a plan. He wished he had the comforts of his friends. Raphael, like Ignatz's brother, was going to inherit his parents' store. And of course, Maya would certainly marry well with all of her beauty and skills.

"I'm sorry I've been so distant recently. It's just been hard. My parents have been hinting that maybe I should join the Officers Academy, I could rub elbows with nobles, protect Leicester. They think it could be a nice life for me."

Maya scooted closer to Ignatz. They were facing the lake watching the sky transition from blue to pink before their eyes. "It sounds like you don't agree with them." She must have noticed the sadness in his voice. She fiddled with the ends of her long braid like she was anxious.

"The idea does make me nervous," Ignatz confessed. There were few people he could speak so openly to, but Maya and Raphael were two of them and he was thankful for that. "The truth is I don't believe I have the skills to be a knight. I'd much rather draw. I'm better with my mind than my body. That doesn't make for a good knight."

Maya laughed. "I'm sure you could learn some great things at the Officers Academy. Not all knights are born, some have to be taught. The Goddess has blessed you. You're the smartest person I know and you excel at everything I'm sure if you put your heart into it you can become not just good knight, but a great knight."

Ignatz lit up at her words. He found himself blushing. "Do you really believe that?" asked Ignatz knowing that she did but hoping that the ego boast Maya was giving him would continue.

As a response Maya pressed her lips against Ignatz. The kiss took them both by surprise, but the real shocker was when Ignatz leaned into it. Kissing her back fiercely he accidentally dropped his brush and spilled some pink paint on her dress.

There was no denying that he loved both Raphael and Maya, but he had never thought about Maya as more than a friend. He had known her since childhood, but this development excited him, he felt his heart flutter. There was something nagging him since that day many years ago at his parents' shop when he locked eyes with that thief. With Maya kissing him and him liking it a lot of questions had been cleared up. Everything he felt was just boyhood curiosity, nothing more. He was becoming a man soon, Maya was going to be a woman, they could be together and be happy.

He could imagine a rather sweet life coming home to Maya after leaving the Officers Academy. He would become a knight and marry his sweetheart, they would raise a lovely family together while both sometimes helping their brothers out at their respective shops. His fantasy lingered in his head for a few days until the news of Maya and Raphael's parents' death reached him. Ignatz felt sick to his stomach knowing that Raphael and Maya had spared Ignatz and his brother a fate that was reserved for them.

How could he look Maya in the eyes again knowing that it should have been him the orphan and not her.

* * *

"Oh Goddess forgive me, I must have the wrong room. I apologize," said the freckled silver-haired boy that stood in the door frame. Ignatz caught his breath. His box full of art supplies slipped from his fingers, spilling various brushes and paints across the floor. He was so distracted by the boy before him. _He looks like a portrait_ , thought Ignatz as the sunlight captured around the boy.

Quickly the boy reached down to help Ignatz collect his things. "Sorry," said the boy as he picked various paintbrushes. "I'm Ashe, by the way. I'm sure my dorm is somewhere near." He tossed the paintbrushes back into the box. He reached up to Ignatz who hesitated to take the Ashe's hand. Finally, Ignatz understood the gesture and grabbed Ashe's hand and helped pull him up. His hands were a lot rougher than Ignatz. He felt a callous on Ashe's palm, it was a lot different than the ones on Ignatz's fingers from holding a paintbrush. Ignatz found it odd for someone so soft looking to have such rough hands.

"I'm Ignatz," Ignatz finally managed to say to Ashe.

"Ignatz, I like that name. It sounds like something out of a myth." Ashe giggled.

 _He must be making fun of me_ , thought Ignatz. He could feel a burning in his cheeks and he looked down. "Uh, thank you," he replied not sure of what else to say.

Ashe looked to check the dorm number, he looked back at Ignatz. "Ah, I've discovered my mistake. My room is the next one. Well, I'll see you around, Ignatz. If you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask." Ashe walked out of the room backward and closed the door softly behind him.

Ignatz let himself breathe once he heard the distant sound of a door shutting. Suddenly he was twelve again only this time without a mother to confirm that he was indeed not dying. If everything he had felt that day with Maya's lips on his was good and right then what was this? Could these feelings be real? Were his feelings for Maya real? Ignatz began to feel dizzy and not just because he had given away his breakfast that morning to a guard that morning.

He laid on his bed and removed his glasses. He tried to think about other things as he drifted off, but the only thing that kept popping into his mind was Ashe's eyes which were the color of precious emeralds. Ignatz thought of the word precious. As an artist Ignatz couldn't deny that he enjoyed the company of precious objects, maybe it was the same for precious people.

* * *

Despite being next door to each other Ignatz hardly came across Ashe, which was both disappointing and a relief. Ashe was a native of Faerghus and part of the Blue Lions. Being a Golden Deer himself Ignatz hardly spent time with people of the other houses, however, he was also nervous to be around certain people in his house, specifically his old friend Raphael. Word had gotten to his family that Raphael had sold the shop, but he had no idea that he had planned to come to the Officers Academy like Ignatz. He was surprised to see him there, although Raphael was delighted.

He was especially happy that during the first mock battle between the houses that Claude had paired to two together. "Since you prefer the bow Ignatz you can definitely do better with long-range attacks, but let's be honest you don't seem like the toughest guy out there. Raphael, I think you should cover him. We need all of our weaklings protected!" said Claude.

"I'm not a weakling," loudly expressed Lysithea who was fuming in the huddle ever since Claude suggested that Hilda protect her during battle.

"Sure you're not," said Claude giving her a coy wink.

Lysithea face stayed red, Ignatz couldn't tell if it was anger or embarrassment. Possibly both.

“Don’t worry buddy, I’ll protect you!” said Raphael with a hardy laugh ruffling Ignatz's hair. Raphael’s good nature spirit had already made him well-liked among their fellow house members.

All of the Golden Deer, with the exception of overly proud Lorenz and overly defensive Lysithea, seemed to be the friendliest bunch at the Officers Academy. Claude, their house leader was incredibly charming, his existence to Ignatz much like a lot of the Alliance was a surprise. There was no doubt in Ignatz's mind that the smirking tan boy in charge of their house would be an excellent leader. His right-hand woman Hilda, while very lazy seemed fun to be around. Marianne was very shy but harmless. Leonie was blunt and bit insensitive but was vastly interesting, Ignatz had to admire her strength and love for her village. Ignatz wished he could stop overthinking and maybe reach out and befriend his classmates better. Even Lorenz and Lysithea to a degree. He always thought the best of everyone.

As they got into their positions of the mock battle, he noticed Ashe across the field holding a bow while talking to the Blue Lions professor, the quiet midnight blue-haired Byleth. _He’s an archer like me_ , thought Ignatz. It brought a smile to his face, he wasn’t sure why, but the idea of practicing archery together made Ignatz a little giddy.

“Ignatz, what’s got you smiling friend?” said Claude. “Man-up, it’s war!” Claude laughed as he walked over to his place.

It didn’t take long into the battle before Ignatz was be taken out, even with all of his dodging and Raphael blocking for him. He was the first out by a short blue-haired boy from The Black Eagles, who excitedly proclaimed “What a chump!” after Ignatz was walked off the field. It was rough. He took a place on a bench to catch his breath and let a healer take a look at him. “You’re very delicate,” commented the healer.

Ignatz felt so embarrassed by how quickly he was defeated.

“Maybe I’m not cut out for this,” an out-of-breath voice exclaimed.

“We’ve got another archer,” said the healer to another.

Ignatz looked over to see Ashe looking as defeated as him. His hair was fused to his forehead by sweat and his freckled face flushed. The healer moved from Ignatz to check Ashe out. “Oh, no need. I think I’m fine,” said Ashe. His tone was bashful. He must have been as embarrassed as Ignatz if he didn’t want to at least be checked out by the healers.

The healer shrugged and moved on. Once she moved away Ashe reached into a backpack a pulled out a well-worn book. Ignatz sighed wishing he would have thought of bringing a sketchpad.

Ashe looked up at him. “Oh you’re out too?” he asked, a soft smile graced his beautiful face.

“Uh, yes. I do wish I would have lasted longer.”

“I feel the same way. I had spent most of my summer training. I guess it wasn’t good enough. That pink-haired girl in your house is very quick with that axe.”

“Hilda? Yes, I noticed. I wouldn’t expect it because she rarely lifts a finger, but she can sure swing that,” said Ignatz.

Ashe laughed.

Ignatz couldn’t believe he made Ashe laugh. His laugh was like a hymn soft and heartfelt.

“So,” started Ashe, “Considering that you’re the first person out and I’m the second person out, and we’re both archers…”

Ignatz wasn’t sure where Ashe was going, but having this moment with just the two of them felt nice. For the first time since Ashe had barged into Ignatz’s room, he was able to be around Ashe without an ache in his stomach. He was comfortable with him. He felt himself relax and he began to study the boy's face. he wondered what colors he would blend to match the shade of his eyes, it must be hard to paint freckles and was curious about his lips. So many thoughts bounced around his head that he didn’t notice when Ashe was done speaking.

“Uh Ignatz, did you catch any of that?” Ashe’s finally brought Ignatz back into focus.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I got lost there for a second,” said Ignatz. He felt guilty for not paying attention to Ashe, but also for paying too close attention to ask. He felt confused.

“It’s okay. I tend to ramble sometimes. If I can clarify, I was just wondering if you’d like to train together sometime? That’s if it’s no bother!”

Ignatz felt something pull at his heart. Ashe wanted to train with him? But they were both terrible, how could they possibly improve? Ignatz kept this criticism to himself when he smiled and agreed that they should.

“Delightful,” expressed Ashe flashing Ignatz his incredible smile.

They began planning on when they’d meet. The two boys became so engrossed in conversation that they hardly noticed when they were surrounded by fellow classmates and the battle had ended announcing that Blue Lions and their new professor had won. Cheers from the Blue Lions mixed in with boos and groans from Golden Deers and Black Eagles, but Ignatz and Ashe could only hear and see each other.


	2. The Boy in the Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annette and Ashe study before his training session with Ignatz.  
> Training might not have been the best idea for two awkward boys.

Ashe was trying his best to stay calm. He looked at the hourglass on the table between him and Annette. They made plans to study together days before he had taken the chance and asked if Ignatz wanted to train with him. It slipped his mind as he and Ignatz agreed on a time. Although she was buried in her book Annette was very perspective. The clumsy red head had already commented on how

Ashe wasn’t very focused and seemed eager to leave.

Finally looking up from her book Annette snapped. “You know Ashe you asked me to study with you, you said you were curious about expanding your reasoning skills. Mercedes asked me to hang out with her, but I passed because I figured you really wanted to study together.”

Ashe sighed. “I apologize Annette, I’ve seemed to have accidentally overbooked myself. The truth is I’m a little distracted by my next meeting.”

Annette’s face soften at Ashe’s confession. “Who’s the meeting with?” she asked teasing.

Ashe rubbed the back of his neck and took a deep breathe. “I told you about the boy that lives next door to me? The Golden Deer with green hair and glasses?”

“Oh Ignatz, he was the first one out at the mock battle!” exclaimed Annette.

“Yes, so after the battle I might have offered to train with him.”

“Oh,” Annette said surprised. “But you were the second one out in the battle? Shouldn’t you both train with someone like Claude or Dimitri? Someone who can actually handle a weapon?”

“Well, it’s not really about training. It’s more about getting to spend time with him…” Ashe couldn’t believe that he was just pouring out his feelings to Annette right now.

Annette’s face lit up with a smile. “I understand, I completely get it.”

Ashe let out a deep breathe. “Is is uh, strange?”

Confusion flashed over Annette’s face. “The Goddess works in mysterious ways. Sometimes we’re lead down uncertain paths, but I think she guides us right.”

Ashe thought about what Annette was telling him. Although he believed in the Goddess it was sometimes hard for him to understand the tragedies she put in his path. He didn’t want to think that the

Goddess’s plan involved his parent's death. There was a blessing answered when he found himself in Lonato’s home, but what about Christophe's death? Was this really all some plan? It helped Ashe believe that somethings were prayers answered and other were human error. It was too soon to tell what Ignatz could be.

“You sound so sure that this is a good thing,” said Ashe smiling at Annette’s optimism. “You don’t find my feelings for another boy peculiar?”

Annette laughed with a snort. “Let’s just saying that hanging out Mercedes is about me getting to spend time with her as well.”

Ashe stared at Annette in bewilderment. “I see,” he said once the pieces snapped together. For the first time since he had crossed paths with Ignatz he didn't feel alone. Annette was someone with similar romantic leanings.

“Like I said Ashe, the Goddess works in mysterious way. Like how she lead a frightened looking green haired boy here for you.”

Ashe turned around to see Ignatz looking frantically around the room. “Oh goddess,” his hands fell to his face. He felt completely unprepared. While comforting the heart-to-heart with Annette must have took longer than he thought.

Annette closed the book in front of him. “Be the brave knight that you are. Greet your prince!” She winked. “Oh hey Mercedes is here!” With that Annette raced over to Mercedes who had just arrived at the library. The two friends clasped hands.

Ashe finally found the courage to approach Ignatz who was looking very lost and confused at the front of the library. Ashe couldn’t help but notice how partially adorable he looked today. Or maybe he looked the same as he always did and Ashe was just kidding himself that he tried to look good for him. This is was hopeless.

“Ignatz!” Ashe greeted trying to sound confident. “Sorry, I must have lost track of time. I’m really excited to train with you today!”

“Uh, I think I'm early. I'm always worried I'll be late, also I have to admit I'm excited as well. How was studying with…uh Annette was it?”

“It was wonderful. She’s actually right over here with another one of our house members. I’ll introduce you.” Without thinking Ashe grabbed Ignatz’s hand pulled him over to Annette and Mercedes. The girls were giggling between book shelves. It was only once they were in front of the them that Ashe realized his horrifying mistake and let go of Ignatz's hand. He looked over at Ignatz, who was beet red.

“Hello Ashe, who’s your friend here?” asked Mercedes.

“Hi Mercedes,” Ashe found it hard to speak still shocked over accidentally holding Ignatz’s hand. He waited for a beat and was finally relaxed enough to introduce Ignatz, although he didn’t know if the boy could take anymore embarrassment. “This is Ignatz, we’re going to be training together today. Ignatz I’d love for you meet the two of the most magical ladies of the Kingdom Mercedes and Annette.”

“Hi,” was all Ignatz manage to say. Thank the Goddess that Annette and Mercedes were two of the kindest souls at the officer Academy. Ashe couldn’t imagine if he were introducing Ignatz to Felix or worse Sylvain. 

“Well anyway we just wanted to say hello, and goodbye we’re off to train!” Ashe said speeding things along.  
Ignatz gave a quick goodbye wave and the two boys dashed out of the library as fast as possible.

“Sorry about being so shy,” said Ignatz once their was enough distance between them and the library.

“No need to apologize. I wasn’t considering your feelings. I shouldn’t have forced you to meet Annette and Mercedes.”

The boys made their way to training ground. The silence surrounded the boys. Both of them clearly too deep in thought. Ashe kept wondering if this was the right idea. He had just saw an opportunity as after the battle and took it. He wanted to get know Ignatz since the day he accidentally walked into his dorm room. There was something so familiar about the boy. Like he was sure they had met before. Ashe didn’t understand all that he was feeling, but he knew he wanted to be around Ignatz more than any other person in the world.

“So…” Ignatz cleared his throat. “Annette seems nice, have you two known each other long?” Ignatz swallowed as he asked this. It was almost as if he was choking back another question.

“Actually we’ve just recently met. She’s really nice. I could see us being good friends.”

“Just good friends?” asked Ignatz.

Something clicked in Ashe. Was Ignatz trying to get an understanding on his relationship with Annette? Perhaps he was wondering what Ashe’s preference was. Was he already that aware that Ashe had feelings for him? Ashe had to be strategic with his answer as to not scare him. If Ignatz discovered that Ashe cared for him this soon it could ruin everything, but he also couldn’t let Ignatz think he had a romantic interest in Annette. “We could be best friends, but I believe Mercedes has that covered.”

“I see,” said Ignatz. Ashe wasn’t sure if Ignatz actually did understand, but he noticed The Golden Deer relax a bit. “Oh we’re here!” exclaimed Ignatz.

Having a crush was new territory for Ashe, he needed to tread lightly. Like when he first started stealing as a child. There were ways to navigate the world when as an orphan with a empty stomach and swift hands. He would have to discover the ways to walk around as a teenager with full heart and clumsy brain.

* * *

Arrow after arrow completely missed the targets. Ashe and Ignatz were both very good at not being good. Their arms began to hurt and they were both working up a sweat doing very little.

“Do you think we’ll actually make good knights?” asked Ignatz sounding unsure as he stared at a target with an arrow inches away from the bullseye.

“I believe I can train myself to be one. Of course I often question if I’m cut out for it.” Ashe wasn’t sure if it was the failure after failure of the training session, but he felt like he could just be open around Ignatz.

“I don’t know if I’m cut from the same cloth as a knight, can someone like me train enough to be a knight?” Ignatz sat down on the bench next to Ashe. “Does Goddess even want me to be a knight?”

Ashe perked up. More talk about what the Goddess has planned or what the Goddess wants. “I believe that any good knight, like the ones in all the best books make their own destiny, regardless of a greater plan or not. I want nothing more than to repay Lonato for everything he’s done for my family. I would like to live-up to my late-brother. Maybe you and I weren’t meant to be a knight per say, but I’m sure you can become one.” After the words left Ashe’s lips he was suddenly overcome with anxiety. Ignatz made him feel open, but perhaps he had revealed too much. He wasn’t ready to tell him about his days as a thief and the rough people he found himself with as he tried to keep his family alive. He wasn’t even sure how to explain to Ignatz how he, a commoner became the adoptive son of a nobleman.

Ignatz just gave him a soft smile. “I believe you’ll make an excellent knight.”

Ashe sighed in relief. Ignatz either didn’t understand how much Ashe had poured out to him or he was too polite to pry. Ashe was grateful for either option really. “Thank you,” he managed to reply.

An awkward silence grew between the two boys. Ashe worried that this whole training idea was bad. What was he thinking inviting Ignatz to train with him? Neither were particularly good. He wondered if they could keep this up or would it just worsen Ignatz’s self-esteem if neither of them improved. Perhaps Ashe could ask a more skilled archer like Claude to join them, he seemed like a nice guy and of course he’d love to help out a fellow Golden Deer.

This was all wrong. Ashe had daydreams about their meeting all week, but none of them were close to coming true. Why didn’t he just ask Ignatz out on a proper date? Was he that afraid of rejection that he cooking up a scheme to get closer was better than hearing Ignatz say he didn’t feel the same way? Ashe blamed his old manipulative thieving ways, he wanted to be honest. Ashe leaned forward and buried his face in hands as if trying to shield his embarrassment.

Ignatz placed a hand on Ashe’s back making him jump. “Sorry…” Ignatz moved his hand “You seem stressed I was just trying to comfort you.”

Damn it, thought Ashe. He wish he hadn’t jumped. “I’m fine, I’m just feeling—” Thunder roared over them. Afraid of what he was going to say next he took the sound as an opportunity to end the session. “Oh, it might storm. We should leave.” He looked over Ignatz was paler.

“Uh yes, let’s get back to our dormitories,” agreed Ignatz quickly.

The boys raced from the training ground all the way back to their rooms only getting slightly sprinkled. The rain picked up just as they reached their destination. 

At Ignatz's dorm, Ashe stood at his door frame trying to say goodbye. “Ignatz,” said Ashe. “I want to apologize for how awkward things got at the end. I really had a lovely time training with you, even if we didn’t make a single target.” Just then a loud clash of thunder hit. Ignatz looked like he was about to faint.

“Yes, me too Ashe. Thank you.” With that Ignatz slammed his door shut on Ashe’s face.  
Ashe felt his heart sink into his stomach. He took a few deep breathes and watched the rain fall over the lawn. Today did not go as planned. Perhaps tomorrow would be better, but for now Ashe needed to be alone with his hurt feelings.

* * *

  
In his bed Ashe found sleep hard as the storm picked up around him. There was a faint sound that was nagging him, like a soft cry perhaps. It sounded like it was coming from Ignatz's room. After about an hour of the sound Ashe was growing more exhausted. He adventured out of his dorm and knocked on Ignatz dorm.

With red eyes the green haired boy opened his dorm and his face dropped as he saw Ashe standing there shirtless.

“Sorry to disturb you, but I heard crying. Are you okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe I did better at pouring over this chapter, but if there are still any mistakes please let me know. Still on the hunt for a beta reader. If you're interested comment or contact skyheartiswriting@gmail.com or skyheartiswriting.tumblr.com (still using tumblr? I know barf, but it's a great place to find writers).


	3. The Boy in the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashe tries to comfort Ignatz as lightning fills the sky.

With puffy red eyes it was clear that Ignatz was not okay. Two answers to Ashe's question came to his mind, the truth or a lie. The truth was he was terrified of lightning. If he told the truth, Ashe would want to help him or maybe he would laugh, by tomorrow all of Garreg Mach would know that Ignatz was a coward.

Their training session had gone poorly. They were both terrible with their bows and he could tell that Ashe was getting frustrated towards the end. The rain had been a good sign for them to stop and the last thing Ignatz needed was him freaking out in front of Ashe over lightning. Ignatz had trouble expressing himself. Avoiding things seemed to work in his favor. He planned on avoiding Ashe until the end of time after today. So he went with the lie.

“I’m fine.”

Ashe pushed past Ignatz and walked into the room closing the door behind him. “You’re clearly not fine.”

The lie did not work. “I just don’t like lightning, is all,” said Ignatz trying to not look Ashe in the eyes or anywhere. It was best to look away than explore his toned arms and fit body that was lite by a candle Ashe held in his hand. Suddenly Ignatz was aware this his lanky frame could not measure up to his neighbors. He bit his lip. On top of everything else he was feeling self-consciousness about his body was new.

“That’s fine. We’re all afraid of things,” said Ashe. He rest the candle on Ignatz’s table next to his bed. He took a seat on Ignatz’s bed tapping the side signaling for Ignatz to join him.

Ignatz took his place next to Ashe. “You don’t find it cowardly?” he asked.

“Why would I?” Of course on top of being beautiful Ashe also had to be incredibly kind.

Ignatz’s heart was racing so fast the the sound muffled the thunder that raged outside. This was more terrifying than anything he had ever encountered. 

“I’m afraid of ghosts, I swear I’ve come across some at the academy.” Ashe’s face was softly light by candle. As Ignatz stared at Ashe his eyes soaked up every detail of his face. He fought the urge to immediately grab his charcoal and sketch his beautiful features.

He snapped out of his trance. He needed Ashe to leave. He needed all of these feelings to leave. Just as he was about to tell Ashe that he was okay and there was no reason for Ashe to stay a strong clash of lightning struck and strobing the room. Ignatz jumped so intensely that he almost fell off the bed. Ashe quickly wrapping his arm Ignatz’s waist and pulled him back.

Ignatz turned to look at Ashe, who realized his mistake. To Ignatz’s disappointment and relief he removed his arms.

“Sorry,” they both said at the same time. They looked away from each other.

Ignatz turned from Ashe. He was so flustered. He was feeling so much that he couldn’t react. He needed Ashe to leave if he was ever going to compose himself. “Ashe, I’m tired.” It was all he could think of saying.

“Well, then lie down,” instructed Ashe.

Ignatz was confused, but he did as Ashe told him and got beneath the blankets of his bed. Ashe soon settled down next to him on top of the blankets.

“I get pretty hot underneath the blankets. I’m still adjusting to the weather here.”

Ignatz was finding it hard to breathe with only a blankets separating his body from Ashe's on his small bed. His heart continued racing. Ashe turned to face him. They were so close. Ashe reached over to pull Ignatz's glasses off his face. The storm raged outside, but Ignatz felt a calmness rush over his body has he felt Ashe’s hands lightly brushing against his cheeks.

“My little brother and sister were afraid of storms. My mother used to soothe them to sleep with lullabies, I’d offer the same, but I’m not much of a singer,” said Ashe with a little laugh at the end. His laugh was so sweet thought Ignatz. It was as soothing as any lullaby. He always seem to sound the sweetest when he talked about his siblings. Like Raphael when he talked about Maya.

“You love them don’t you,” commented Ignatz feeling himself getting relaxed next to Ashe.

“Archie and Alessandra are my world. Everything I’ve done since our parents left us is for them. The things I did to protect them, the person I would have been if it wasn’t for Lonato…” Ashe’s voice trailed off.

There was a sadness that Ignatz picked up on in Ashe’s voice. He knew that Ashe was holding something back from him. Ignatz wanted to tell Ashe that he could be open with him. That Ashe could tell Ignatz’s anything, but as someone who kept him own feelings and dreams a secret Ignatz knew he couldn’t offer Ashe the same. So he just listened..

“Sorry,” said Ashe. “It doesn’t matter, Lonato took us in and I was able to become better with time. You wouldn’t have liked the person I was or the person I could have been.” Ignatz noted how sad his voice sounded.

Ignatz couldn’t imagine Ashe as anything other than the soft sweet boy that was next to him. The boy who kept a book with him everywhere he went. The sweet soul who would stay up all night trying to comfort a friend who was in distress. This boy who kept pull Ignatz to him no matter what he did. As if his thoughts were just spilling out his mind Ignatz replied, “It’s impossible for me not to like you.”

“Really?” replied Ashe.

For a moment Ignatz hesitated. He regretted his words. Then it all hit him. 

The blissfulness of laying in bed with Ashe made Ignatz’s mind clear. Ashe had reached out at the mock battle. It was Ashe who came to Igantz’s dorm wanting to help him. Wanting to care for him. It was clear that Ashe had feelings for Ignatz too.

Without thinking he reached out and touched Ashe’s cheeks hoping to feel that stars that sprinkled his face, which was nothing but a blur to Ignatz without his glasses. He could feel the smile form on

Ashe’s lips from the way his cheeks became full. “You’re the loveliest person I’ve ever come across,” said Ignatz. This was the boldest Ignatz had been in his entire life. 

Ashe moved Ignatz’s hand from his face slid it down to his chest. He moved closer becoming clearer in Ignatz poor vision. The space between them was non-existing as Ashe pressed his lips against Ignatz. Quickly their soft chaste kisses grew deeper. Ignatz felt Ashe’s tongue slip between his teeth. This was different than the kiss he had shared with Maya. There was so much passion between the two boys that Ignatz had to pull himself away to catch his breathe. The knots in his stomach and the awkwardness that he felt through every fiber of his being since Ashe walked into his dorm weeks ago now had lifted the moment Ashe’s lips touched his.

Ashe placed his hands on he back of Ignatz neck as Ignatz hands explored every sculpted muscle on Ashe’s chest. His his hand glided over Ashe’s stomach a soft giggle escaped the silver boys mouth.

“Sorry, I must be ticklish. I’ve never been touched this much.”

“Really?” asked Ignatz having his hands return to himself.

“Yes, I’ve actually never been kissed before.”

Ignatz’s gasped. How could someone as beautiful as Ashe not had his first kiss already. “That’s surprising.”

“I take it I’m not your first?” asked Ashe, not hurt but definitely caught off guard.

“No and yes,” replied Ignatz truthfully.

Ashe’s grip on Ignatz neck eased up. The bed was too small for the both of them, somehow Ignatz found himself pressed against Ashe’s chest. He cuddled against him as Ashe’s free hand stroked Ignatz’s cheek.

“I’ve kissed a girl before,” said Ignatz. “You’re the first boy I kissed,” he added after a pause.

“I gathered that,” said Ashe with a giggle. 

That laugh was going to be the end of Ignatz.

“How did you go this long without being kissed?” asked Ignatz.

“Well, I actually don’t know. My childhood was a little difficult after my parent died. When Lonato took us in I had a lot of catching up do with other children. I didn’t even know how to read. I had other things to think about. I guess it just slipped my mind?” explained Ashe.

Ignatz placed a hand on Ashe’s cheek and his palm firmly over his heart. He felt the pulsing through his hand. Ignatz wanted to know how that heart was so big. He knew that Ashe was keeping something about his childhood from him. Ignatz had concluded that Ashe’s childhood was worse than he was letting on. Ashe was embarrassed by something. Ignatz wanted to tell him to not worry, Ashe could tell Ignatz anything and he wouldn’t like him less. 

Instead Ignatz planted a soft kiss on Ashe’s cheek. “We can sleep now.”

Ashe rolled over blow out the candle. He was still above the blanket when he wrapped a protective arm around Ignatz. Lightning continued to strike though the night, but Ignatz slept soundly.

* * *

When Ignatz was woken by sunlight and the sound of church bells ringing he was alone. Ignatz looked around his room for signs that anything happened. He was about to dismiss the time as a delusion when he noticed the candle melted on his nightstand. Ignatz smiled to himself as he put on his glasses.  
The dorm door swung open. Ashe looking nice in fresh clothes walked in. “Good morning, beautiful.” He leaned over to Ignatz planting a kiss on Ignatz’s cheek. Ignatz blushed. His eyelashes fluttered against Ashe’s.

His eyes drifted over the room and he noticed that Ashe had accidentally left the door open. Ignatz scrambled to get out of his bed. He raced over and slammed his door shut. Ignatz unable to speak. With the door closed he leaned against it and took a deep breathe. “Sorry, the door was open,” said Ignatz.

“Oh, well what’s wrong with that?” asked Ashe.

Ignatz struggled with how to explain his anxieties to Ashe. Last night was heavenly, but something was still nagging at Ignatz. What would people think if he walked the halls hand in hand with a boy.

Yes, he had kissed Ashe but like his painting perhaps Ashe wasn’t for the rest of the world to know.

Ashe bit his lip. Waiting for a response. 

Ignatz let out a sigh. It was best to be honest with Ashe. “I don’t think I’m ready. It might need time before...”

“Before you’re seen with me,” Ashe said cutting him off with bitterness in his voice.

“When we kissed last night, I didn’t think about the morning.”

“Well,” started Ashe chocking back sadness. “It’s morning and I still like you same as last night. Do you not feel the same?”

It pained Ignatz to see Ashe so heartbroken. Ignatz had to fight the urge to touch him. He wanted to reach out and hold him. Apologize and be brave but his fears just kept him solid watching as Ashe crumbled before him. “I feel just as strongly as a did last...I just need time to adjust.”

He looked like he was on the verge of crying. “Okay, I’ll give you time to adjust. I have to…go.” With that Ashe rushed out of past Ignatz, slightly shoving him and walked out of the dorm.

Alone in his dorm Ignatz felt horrible. “Oh Goddess, what did I do,” he exclaimed as the look of Ashe’s face repeated over and over again. A heaviness settled over Ignatz. He left for class later than usual, but thankfully he arrived on time because his usual was early.


	4. The Boy in the Kitchen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ashe discovers that his classmates really love him.

Ashe felt completely foolish. He tried to remain calm in class, but it was all over his face. When he walked Annette greeted him with a big smile, no doubt excited for him to share what happened after they separated yesterday, but her face fell as soon as she saw him. He knew he wasn’t fooling anyone from the way his classmates stared at him. As Byleth tried to conduct their lecture they kept

looking over at him with pity in their eyes. Ashe must have looked like a wounded puppy.

It was Sylvain, who finally confronted the distraction. He raised his hand and Professor Byleth called on him. “Are we just going to ignore that Ashe has been on the verge of tears since the start of class?” asked the redhead.

“Sylvain!” shouted Ingrid. She was particularly good at putting him in his place.

“What? We’re all thinking about it.” Sylvain turned to face Ashe. “Let it out, man!”

Ashe could see Annette turn red. She was feeling second-hand embarrassment from him.

Dimitri cleared his throat. “Sylvain, Ashe’s personal affairs are none of our business unless it concerns The Blue Lions or the Kingdom. Which I’m assuming it doesn’t right Ashe?”

Ashe slowly shook his head no.

“Perfect, so there’s no need to discuss this any further. Unless Ashe wants to tell us,” said Dimitri sounding a little more interested than he was letting on.

“Dimtri!” said Ingrid through gritting teeth. She turned to Professor Byleth, “You’re the professor, can you stop them?” she asked.

“Alright, everyone. Let’s all leave Ashe alone. Ashe if you’re going through something I’ll be happy to speak with you about it after class. Although I have to admit it has been bothering me seeing you like this,” said Byleth.

“Yes, it’s indeed troubling. Ashe, I wish you’d tell us what’s going on,” expressed Mercedes.

“I don’t know,” offered Annette. “Ashe seems fine to me!” He was thankful for her small attempt of taking the attention off of him.

Ashe sighed.

Sylvain leaned over on Ashe’s desk. “Just so you know, if anyone hurts you I will personally have Felix murder them!” Ingrid swatted at him to move away from Ashe’s desk.

“I will not,” said Felix. His face scrunched up in thought. “Actually, I don’t know. I guess it depends like how bad you were hurt, like if we’re on the battlefield or something similar. It would only be right to avenge you.”

At that Ashe did smile a bit. 

“Okay, nobody is murdering for or avenging Ashe today!” said Ingrid. “Let’s all leave him alone.”

“Now that we’ve all agree that Ashe’s feelings are very important to everyone in the class, Professor could we continue the lecture?” asked Dedue.

Byleth was thankful for the out and went right back to where they left off.

Ashe on the other hand was still sitting in his emotions. It was nice that his classmates cared so much about him, but he didn’t know how to go about talking with anyone, especially the other boys in the class. It might even be too hard with Annette, who had encouraged him so much yesterday at the library. His heart wasn’t broken, but his feelings were hurt. He thought after getting over the awkwardness of training together Ignatz was warming up to him. Last night had taken a leap of faith. He didn’t go to his room expecting to have his first kiss. He just wanted to help him out. Then the kiss happened and everything was feeling so good. This morning crushed him.

* * *

“Whatever happened, I’m so sorry!” said Annette after class as they walked to the dining hall together. “Oh, if I see that Ignatz I’m gonna punch him right in his glasses.”

“Please don’t,” said Ashe in a worried voice.

“I’m just kidding!” said Annette. “But if you wanted me to I'd do it.” She laughed and gave Ashe a wink.

“Please Annette. This whole thing is humiliating.”

Annette stopped him. “Let’s talk about it.”

Ashe sighed. “Training was a mess, it just didn’t work out.” That much was true. Training was a mess. That was the most Ashe felt comfortable telling Annette. What he couldn’t tell her was how soft Ignatz’s lips were and how wonderful his hands felt on Ashe’s chest as the storm surrounded them. He couldn’t tell her that he spend the night with his arms wrapped around Ignatz’s smooth body breathing in the smell of him, paper, and ink like an old book, Ashe’s favorite scent. How could he tell anyone that he had a wonderful night and shared his first kiss only to be shut out in the morning? Either Ignatz didn’t actually have feelings for Ashe or worse he did, but was embarrassed. It was best for Ashe to keep it to himself.

“Well, I’m sorry my friend. Hey, maybe they need help in the kitchen today! I know you love to cook!” She was right, the only place Ashe loved more than a library was a kitchen.

The kitchen at the Garreg Mach reminded Ashe of the one back at his parents restaurant growing up. Ashe could vividly remember the scent of spices and herbs being blended together to make delicious fresh meals. The sound of pots clashing and liquids boiling was music to his ears. His father had showed him to make several recipes before he was seven. It was a skill that he was thankful for. Even with the scraps, he could steal Ashe had always managed to make the food for Alessandra and Archie delicious. When they moved in with Lonato there were cooks to prepare their meals, but occasionally Ashe would offer to take over in the kitchen. Lonato was very impressed with his adoptive son’s culinary skills that he would often joke that perhaps Ashe should skip the knighthood to open up a restaurant. That was until Christophe died then Lonato stopped joking so much. He rarely talked to Ashe at all after.

Annette and Ashe worked together in the kitchen to create the lunch special. Ashe graciously seasoned fresh fillets of fish while Annette applied oil to pan for the salute. As they worked together cooking the fish for their classmates and staff Ashe took notice at how cute Annette was. She was an absolute mess in the kitchen, but something about her was endearing. Annette had already managed to cut her fingers, drop a fillet, and completely burn garlic but she was still determined to cook. He felt completely at ease and comfortable with her. He wondered why it couldn’t be this easy with Ignatz. Why couldn’t he just be attracted to someone who likes being around him like Annette? Or any girl he had befriended over the years really. He didn’t have to have his first kiss at sixteen with a boy who was embarrassed to be seen with him.

There were many girls back home in Gaspard who fancied Ashe. He always turned them down gently not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings. He would simply say that although they were beautiful he had aspirations to become a knight and he would never want to bring a young lady into such a dangerous lifestyle. It was more or less the truth although he didn't know if he exactly believed that it would be dangerous to have a wife and be a knight. He had seen Christophe around with many girls before he passed. He often wondered if their hearts broke when they learned of his death. The real reason was that it was that he had never felt anything for the girls that approached him. If he did feel something it was definitely nothing close what he felt last night. It must have not been the same for Ignatz because he was at least able to kiss a girl.

It took a lot for Ashe to get upset, but he found himself fuming as he squirted lemon the cooked fish fillets thinking about Ignatz’s behavior. Ashe had let himself be vulnerable with him. He had only intentions of letting helping Ignatz last night. The kiss was unexpected. The kiss was Ignatz’s idea. He kissed him, so why did he back out this morning? When they kissed Ashe felt himself melt under the Golden Deer. He had stayed in Ignatz’s bed the entire night at ease just thinking about how beautiful he was going to look in the morning. He felt like a complete fool.  
Ashe was lost in the thought that he barely noticed when Ignatz was standing right in front of him waiting to be served. Next to him was another Golden Deer, Raphael. Ashe took a moment to stare at Ignatz, it was way too soon for them to be facing each other again after this morning.“Hey Ignatz, hurry up,” shouted Raphael in a voice that was playful but still clearly annoyed.

“Uh, sorry. I’ll take the fish.”

In silence Ashe prepared Ignatz’s plate and placed handed it to him.

Ignatz hesitated then reached out to take it. Lingering for a moment longer before blurting out "Thank you," in a tone that could sound like saying I'm sorry. He walked away with his meal. Ashe severed Raphael the same dish. He stared over at the table where they sat noticing that Ignatz had yet to take a bite of his food.

“Stop staring,” whispered Annette to him.

Ashe turned to look at her. “I just want to know if he likes my cooking.”

“Well burning into him with your eyeballs isn’t going to tell you that. You should try talking to him?” Annette did not sound confident in her suggestion.

“Uh Annette, thank you for the suggestion, but I think I’d rather talk to a ghost,” replied Ashe.

“Ashe, do you believe in ghost?” asked Annette very confused.

With that Annette and Ashe were able to distract themselves from the Golden Deer table. Ashe tried to explain to Annette the weird things he had seen around the monastery as she calmly debunked them. The conversation was friendly and delightful. The two took their lunches and joined the other Blue Lions students at the table.

“What are you too so giggly about?” commented Dimitri with a smile.

“Oh, nothing. We’re just having a friendly chat about ghosts,” said Annette as she took her place next to Mercedes.

“I find them beautiful,” said Mercedes to the surprise of everyone at the table. 

The group suddenly found themselves in a friendly debate about the existence of Ghost. Sylvain swearing that he could seduce as ghost. Felix getting angry at the idea of their even being ghost, which Ingrid implied that he was only mad because he couldn’t stab a ghost. Dedue found the whole conversation rather childish. Everyone was getting along so well over the silly conversation that it brought a smile to Ashe’s face.

Dimtri smiled at Ashe. “Well look who’s cheered up.”  
Ashe felt himself blush at the attention of the prince. It felt good to be around his fellow house members to know that at least he had a few people at the academy that cared about him. He focused on his friends and soon he wasn't even thinking Ignatz a few tables over. He didn't even notice that the boy had eaten his entire plate.


	5. The  Boy in the Cathedral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No better place to confess than a church.

Ashe deserved better was the conclusion that Ignatz came to. He deserved someone who wouldn’t be afraid to love him. Ignatz was being honest with himself when he decided that he was probably not brave enough to love Ashe. Like painting, he would have to keep his feelings for another boy to himself. It had been days since Ashe and Ignatz's last conversations. When they crossed each other in the dining hall he felt his heartache. The food that Ashe has prepared was actually one of Ignatz's favorite dishes. The saluted fish was it was so delicious that he thought he would cry. His fellow classmates were all very impressed. Tasting Ashe's cooking had made Ignatz come to the realization that Ashe was better than him and he needed to let him know that he was sorry. At that moment Ignatz wanted nothing more than to knock on Ashe’s door and apologize. However, the current news around the monastery was making the task impossible.

Lord Lonato, Ashe’s adopted father was planning a rebellion against the church. It was rumored that Ashe’s house and their new professor were placed in charge of handling the situation. Since the news had reached Ignatz he wasn’t sure how to approach Ashe. All the words he wanted to tell him, the whole “It’s me, not you” spiel that he had been prepping had left his mind. Instead, he wanted to wrap Ashe in his arms and kiss him until his lips chapped while telling him everything was going to be okay, even if Ignatz wasn’t sure it was. The small amount they had spent together there wasn’t a moment where Ashe wasn’t thankful for Lord Lonato taking him in. There wasn’t a second that he didn’t thank that man for his life. Now whatever the outcome of Lonato’s uprising it would not be good for Ashe. It was best for Ignatz to keep his distance. Even if he wanted to comfort and support Ashe, Ashe would likely reject it.

That morning conversation would forever haunt Ignatz. If Ignatz knocked on Ashe’s door offering a hug Ashe would have every right to punch him in the face and break his glasses. It’s what Ignatz deserved for his cowardliness. Much like the coward that he was going back to the original plan of avoiding Ashe. Avoidance had become a safety net for Ignatz. When his parents had enrolled him into the Officer’s Academy he avoided speaking to his brother, because if he could speak to him it would be nothing but jealousy. He loved his older brother Oliver but couldn’t hide the fact that he wished they could switch places. Oliver would inherit the family business as a birthright, but he would actually make a finer knight out of the two of them. He didn't realize how much he hated the arrangement until weeks before he left. Anxiety has settled over Ignatz and every single time he took notice of Oliver he wanted to shout at him. He had never felt like that before, so he took to staying his room and staying out of Oliver's way the best he could. He barely told Oliver goodbye. He could see the pain in his brother's face when denied Oliver's hug. Since arriving at the academy he had successfully been avoiding Raphael despite his many attempts to rekindle their old friendship. If Ignatz were to speak with Raphael he would most likely burst out in tears and confess that his family was responsible for the death of his parents. He would probably be so overwhelmed with emotions that he’d let out about the kiss he and Maya had shared. He wasn’t sure was Raphael’s reaction to everything would be but it made him anxious all the same. He would add Ashe to a list of people he would rather not offend.

In a twist, Ignatz’s avoidance tactic that leads him into Ashe’s presents the day before The Blue Lions deployed against Lonato’s army.

“Hey Ignatz,” called Raphael.

Ignatz frozen. He was on his way to the greenhouse to sketch some flowers when Raphael stopped him in his tracks.

“Would like you to train with me?” asked Raphael. For the past few days, Raphael had been trying to get Ignatz’s attention. Inviting him along to any little activity he was doing around the academy.

Ignatz swallowed hard. “Ummm… I have to go to the Cathedral,” said Ignatz. It was the perfect place. It was the opposite direction of the training grounds and it was the last place that Raphael would try to join him. Ignatz could hide out there, perhaps sketch some of the architecture.

“Boring,” said Raphael with a hardy laugh. “Well, maybe some other time. I really miss hanging out with you man.”

Ignatz felt a pit in his stomach. He knew he couldn’t keep hiding from Raphael, but he wasn’t ready to face him. He was sure that Raphael knew the truth about his parents' death he’d hate him. It wasn’t in Raphael’s nature to hate him, but how couldn’t he. It should have been his parents on that trip, not the Kristens. Ignatz had missed his friend too, the officer’s academy was lonely. He liked his classmates enough, but it was always hard for him to connect with people. Raphael had been his friend since childhood things should be easy for them. Once again Ignatz’s emotions were keeping him at a standstill.

Ignatz should have said I miss you too, instead, he said. “Well, I have to go.” He ran towards the Cathedral. It was a cold response.

In the Cathedral, Ignatz relaxed. A church was always a place that Ignatz had found comfort. The Victors ran a very practical household, but they were very religious. The church was special to Ignatz. His parents weren’t the type of indulging in things they found frivolous. There was no use for art and poetry in their household. The church was one of the few places that Ignatz could experience such beauty. From icons to stain glass as a young boy, he would just eye the various beautiful things in the church they attended back home. The Cathedral at Garreg Mach made his childhood church look like a shack in comparison. It took his breath away the first time he witnessed it. Shortly after his first encounter with Ashe, he found himself in the Cathedral exploring the giant saints before him and praying to the Goddess that she guides him through this year.

He had taken a seat in a pew and took a few deep breaths. There wasn’t anyone around beside the people that guarded and worked at the Cathedral. He removed his sketchbook and coal from his messenger bag. He began to outline a sketch of the stained glass that he was eyeing in front of him. Back in his room, he had some paints that he was sure he could use to capture the beautiful colors shining through the glass. 

Ignatz could feel a presence behind him that made him stop. He turned his head slightly to see Ashe in the pew behind him. He was deep in prayer. When had he come in? Why did the pick to sit right behind Ignatz? Ignatz panic when Ashe looked up from his prayer.

“I’ve been coming here every day,” he said softly. “I’m sure you’ve heard the news.”

Ignatz nodded. He knew Ashe was religious and that he might have found comfort in the Cathedral especially during a time like this. He took a deep breath. There was no avoiding him now. Obviously Ashe was struggling and he was reaching out to Ignatz. There is no better place to confess than a church.

“I’ve been wanting to speak with you, since—”

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Ashe interrupted flatly. “I’m not mad about it. I probably got ahead of myself. Besides I have bigger things to worry about now. When I saw you here I realized how much I missed you.”

Ignatz nodded. He couldn’t deny that he had missed Ashe. Part of mentally preparing to officially end things he was also preparing to miss Ashe. “I wanted to apologize. I just want to make my family proud. They have aspirations of me becoming a great knight to help bring business to them. When we kissed it felt wonderful, but it didn’t feel, I don’t know...knightly. I was confused. I wanted to apologize for not being as brave as I should and tell you are very special. You deserve someone who isn’t afraid to be seen with you.” Ignatz had confessed more than he wanted to.

“I see,” said Ashe calmer than Ignatz had expected. “I guess I’ve never read a book about two knights falling in love. Perhaps it is not knightly.” There was a moment of silence. Ignatz could see Ashe’s face pondering over his words. Ashe cleared his throat. “You said wanted.” What was he getting at?

Ignatz paused thinking of Ashe’s response. He did say wanted. “I guess I did,” he said.

“Do you not want to tell me that anymore?” he asked.

Ignatz sighed. Had he really accidentally let his feelings slip. “No, I don’t,” he responded. “I don’t know what I want to tell you, but it’s none of that.”

Ashe looked down at his hands. “You said I’m special. I don’t feel very special right now. I’m not sure what’s to become of me after all of this. Clearly Lonato hasn’t been himself since Christophe died, but I didn’t think it was this bad. I’ve written to children and they’re safe, I’m scared of what’s to come of them.”

“Ashe, they’re innocent in this. Surely they’ll be protected.”

“We were innocent before and they could have starved without me. Without the things that I did or the person I became.” There he was again, alluding to things that he had done or the person he was. How much trouble did that Ashe get into before he was adopted by Lonato?  
Ignatz placed his sketchbook on the side of the pew. He turned his body completely around with knees on the pew to fully face Ashe. The position wasn’t comfortable, but it was better. He reached a hand out to Ashe.

Ashe was confused but accepted it.

“You were a child,” said Ignatz rubbing his thumb over Ashe's hand for comfort. “Whatever you did, you did it to survive. I’ve never known life without comfort and I couldn’t imagine having to live the way you did, with two children to look out for nonetheless.” Ignatz wasn’t sure where the words were coming from, but he wanted Ashe to know that he wasn’t bad.

“I was a thief,” Ashe confessed finally. He stopped making eye contact with Ignatz, but still held firmly on to his hand.

Ignatz sighed. He had gathered that from little things Ashe had said over the course of their brief friendship. “That doesn’t make me think less of you.” He gave Ashe’s hand a gentle squeeze and the boy looked back up at him. “You’re caring too much about what people think of you.” The comment felt strange coming from Ignatz’s mouth. Like words, he shouldn’t be speaking. It was hypocritical for him of all people to tell Ashe not to care what people thought.

“Don’t you care what people think? Isn’t that why you slammed the door?” Annoyance was mixed in with his self-pity. He let go of Ignatz's hand.

The action sent pain to Ignatz’s stomach. The rejection was awful and he knew he deserved it after what he did last time. He wasn’t sure what to say next. After a moment the only thing he could come up with was: “You’re right.”

They sat in silence. Ignatz was not sure how to fix the conversation, but he was determined to do so. An idea popped into his head.

He stood up and jumped over the pew leaving his bag and sketchbook behind. He settled himself next Ashe, whose green eyes widened and mouth hung slightly agape. Ignatz considered closing it with a kiss but went against it. Being around Ashe was making him become different. The person he wanted to be for Ashe was someone forward and strong. 

He once again took one of Ashe’s hand and placed his other hand on his cheek. He found his thumb circling around the freckled cheek. “I know what I want to tell you, I want to tell you that I’ve been unable to keep my eyes off you since you first walked into my room. There is like some part of me that has been missing and the moment I saw you something inside broke. I’ve spent most of my life looking at beautiful things and you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever come across.”

Ashe looked at him stunned.

For a moment Ignatz worried that he had said too much. Had he come on too strong?

As if he could read his mind Ashe leaned into Ignatz and planted a soft kiss on his lips. All of Ignatz’s fears were soothed away. “Thank you.”

It wasn't as poetic or romantic as Ignatz’s speech but to Ignatz, it was the perfect response. “Can I walk you back to your room?” he asked.

Ashe laughed. “Sure, it’s not like it’s out of your way or anything.”

* * *

The sun was setting turning the sky a gorgeous shade of pink. Twilight was Ignatz’s favorite time and he was happy to be witnessing it with Ashe. Ignatz reached his hand out to Ashe. Who looked down at in confusion as they walked together.

“Take it,” said Ignatz.

Ashe seemed nervous. “Are you sure?”

With that Ignatz grabbed on to Ashe’s hand lacing their fingers together. It felt so natural to hold his hand. “Yes,” he said firmly. “I like you, I want to hold your hand.”

“So you’re not afraid of what people would think of you holding my hand?” said Ashe in a smug tone. Typically shy Ashe didn’t typically sound so confident as did right then. “Not even a bit embarrassed that it would make you seem not manly enough? Not knightly?” He was teasing. It made Ignatz's heart skip. He wasn’t sure if he could be witty enough to flirt back as well.  
In the courtyard, Ignatz responded by pulling Ashe closer to him. “I can’t think of anything more knightly than two knights holding hands.”  
Ashe giggled.

“Goddess, I adore your laugh,” said Ignatz. “It makes me wish I was funnier, so I can hear it all the time.”

Ashe had blushed. “Well your deep voice makes me swoon,” said Ashe.

At that Ignatz blushed. “Your freckles are like the stars and I can get lost counting them.”

“Your eyes are like honey and your lips taste just as sweet.” Ignatz was impressed. He knew Ashe read books, but his flirting could almost be poetic.

“Your eyes are like emeralds,” Ignatz replied, “If I didn’t know better I’d have guessed…you stole them.”

He laughed. “Ignatz, my darling that one was bad.”

Ignatz made a mental note to ask Lorenz or Claude for courting tips, specifically flirting.

The continued complimenting and embarrassing each other the entire walk. They were both red in the face and out of breath once they reached their dorms. In front of Ashe’s door, the two boys settled down.

“I should probably prepare for tomorrow,” said Ashe bleakly.

Ignatz pushed back a bit of Ashe’s silver hair from his face and planted a kiss on his cheek. “I can’t promise everything will be okay, but I can promise that I’ll be here for you after.”

Ashe replied by wrapping his arms around Ignatz and burying his face in his shoulders. From the embrace Ignatz noticed someone watching them. From a distance, Raphael was looking at the pair. Mouth wide open. Ignatz's heart skipped a beat. The two parted and shared one last kiss goodnight before Ashe went into his room to rest up for the mission.

Once he knew Ashe was far away he walked up to his giant childhood friend. “Uh Raphael, how much of that did you see.”

“Most of it. Ignatz, why didn’t you tell me?” he asked sounding very hurt.

Ignatz shrugged. “There wasn’t anything to tell until Ashe.”

“Is this why you’ve been so distant?” asked Raphael.

“Pardon?” said Ignatz trying to sound more unsure than he actually was.

“You’ve been running away and avoiding me ever since the start of the school year. Come to think of it, you’ve been distant for some years now.”

The world was catching up with Ignatz. It felt like the Goddess was pushing him. She was having him open up to those around him. Could he really keep avoiding Raphael? Despite his guilt Ignatz had to admit he was lonely at the academy. He needed friends. Raphael had known Ignatz since they were children. They had grown up together. Raphael deserved to know the truth. He deserved to know that his parents were sent on the work trip to The Victors' place. Ignatz had spent years assuming Raphael would hate him, but he was realizing his behavior wasn’t protecting Raphael. It was hurting him.

“No,” said Ignatz. He took a deep breath. He needed to borrow Ashe’s courage. “It’s about your parents,” he finally said. The words felt like weights on his tongue. He realized he wasn’t ready to have this talk. However, he had said the words. There was no going back.

Raphael with a furrowed brow. “What are you talking about Ignatz.”

Ignatz clasped his hands together saying a mental prayer. “Raphael, we should take a walk.”

* * *

“I see,” said Raphael. He was silent for a moment thinking everything over. The silence was disturbing Ignatz. Raphael wasn’t the quiet type.

The two had wandered over to the bench on the courtyard where Ignatz told Raphael everything. From his parents suggesting that The Kristens take their place to how he had been actively avoiding Raphael since they had run into each other the academy.

Raphael sighed. It gave Ignatz a bit of relief just to hear him make a sound, any sound. “I understand. Ignatz you don’t have to beat yourself over this.”  
Ignatz was prepared for a blow. He was caught off guard by Raphael’s response.

“This isn’t your parents' fault, least of all yours. It was an accident. Could we just drop this and be friends again?” It was strange to hear Raphael sound so broken. He was asking Ignatz to accept his forgiveness, but something in his voice made Ignatz hesitate. For the sake of not hurting Raphael anymore than he already did, Ignatz had to let it go, but something still didn’t sit right about the whole situation. He should be mad, he should never want to be friends with Ignatz again. Raphael was so ready to accept anything Ignatz told him. He must not be thinking straight thought Ignatz. Just putting a brave face when what he really wanted to do was scream at Ignatz.

A moment passed them. Raphael was still deep in his own thoughts. He cleared his throat and turned to Ignatz. “Maya is going to be upset.”

Panic rose in Ignatz. He had spent a lot of time worrying about Raphael, but Maya’s feelings had completely slipped his mind. She was never one to have tempter, neither was Raphael but who knows how she would feel.

“She’s going to be really disappointed that you have a boyfriend,” said Raphael.

At that, Ignatz felt relief. Raphael wasn’t thinking about his parents anymore. His attention was back on Ignatz and Ashe.

“Every letter has been her asking about you. I told her things were sort of rocky between us. I knew she had a crush on you as a kid, but I thought she would have grown out of it,” he said with a laugh.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with you my friend, but this is my sister we’re talking.”

Ignatz let out a nervous laugh. When he told Raphael everything he had kept out about the part where he and Maya shared a kiss. That might have to be a secret he kept to himself. He had managed to not get himself hurt for the parents' situation, but kissing Maya would land him in hot water. Instead, he opted for changing the subject completely. “Ashe isn’t my boyfriend.”

Raphael laughed. “You could have fooled me. He seems sweet, shame about his father.”

“Indeed, the blue lions have a lot on their plate,” said Ignatz. The new professor that taught their class was creating buzz that couldn’t be ignored. The children of Faerghus were already intense and militant. They made Ignatz worry. There would be no doubt that Ashe would find himself in danger, but there was nothing Ignatz could do to protect him.

“Do you know if the tall girl who likes horses is seeing anyone?” asked Raphael. “She’s always hanging out with the prince and those two other guys.”

“Ingrid?” asked Ignatz confused. Ashe had told him a little about the lady knight. He knew she was raised along with the other nobles in Blue Lions house and that she had great lance skills. She was very serious about the whole knight business. “I don’t believe she really courts.”

“Ah,” replied Raphael. “She’s rather cute. Perhaps I could invite her to train with me? She would probably prefer that over having tea.”

At that Ignatz laughed. “Well, that did work out for me.”

They ended the talk on a pleasant note. He wasn’t sure if they were friends again yet, but he knew that they were closer. He wasn’t sure if Ashe was his boyfriend, but he knew they were something. The day was over and he slept in his bed for the first time in weeks anxiety had left him. Of course, he was worried about Ashe’s safety tomorrow and how he would support if the situation escalated, but he realized there was nothing he could do on for him exhausted. He fell asleep thinking of the stained glass of the cathedral. The watercolors filled his mind and eased him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me longer to update this chapter because I had a somewhat bummer of a week. I'm not sure if I'll update this weekend like I typically plan but I'm going to be my best to put myself right back on track.


	6. The Knight in the Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loog and The Wind Maiden means different things to Ashe and Ignatz.

Since returning from the battle against Lonato, a routine had been set. Ashe’s days blurred together. He knew it was morning when Ignatz knocked on his door to walk him to class. Class ended with Ignatz waiting at the door. Food was brought to Ashe by Ignatz. Ashe assumed the food actually belonged to Ignatz, but he wasn’t eating it.

Ashe wished he could do more than lay in bed. Two weeks had passed and another mission was upon his team. But there were so many questions on his mind. He felt betrayed, hurt, but, most of all, confused. Confused over why his adoptive father would go against the church and risk losing everything. He had thought Lonato loved him and the kids. He needed answers.

On one particularly bad day, Ignatz came to visit him after dinner. Ashe was resting with his favorite book cradled against his chest. He had attempted to read it to cheer himself up but discovered the task to be draining.

“Sorry to wake you, dear,” said Ignatz, giving Ashe a gentle shake. “I’ve brought food for you.”

Ashe yawned from his sleep and pulled himself up. He leaned over, gave Ignatz a soft lazy kiss on the cheek, and tossed his book to the side.

Ignatz blushed and adjusted his glasses. The awkwardness between the two boys had cleared up since their meeting in the cathedral, but that did nothing for painful shyness. They still blushed and giggled as natural reflexes to affection. Maybe it would wear off at some point or perhaps they would stay like that forever. It was too soon to tell.

Ashe stared town at the food Ignatz brought him. He felt bad for all that he had been taking from Ignatz. The moment he had returned, Ignatz was there to comfort him.

Ashe stared down at the food Ignatz brought him. He felt bad for all that he had been taking from Ignatz. The moment he had returned, Ignatz was there to comfort him.

“Did you eat yet?” asked Ashe.

“No, but I’m fine,” replied Ignatz.

He picked up Ashe’s book and started thumbing through it. Ashe had noticed Ignatz liked to find distractions when he didn’t want to make eye contact or talk about something. Ashe had learned to respect Ignatz’s comfort zones, but he couldn’t take how much Ignatz preferred others over himself. It was beautiful to be selfless, but Ashe worried about him.

“Sweetheart, you should eat too.” Ashe picked up an apple from the tray and offered it to Ignatz. “I’ll go to the dining hall myself tonight.”

Ignatz laughed. He settled next to Ashe on the bed and put the dinner tray on his lap.

“I used to beg my mother to make breakfast in bed for me. This is close enough,” Ignatz said. He scooped a bit of Blessed Jelly into his mouth. The plum dessert) stained his pink lips.

“Um…Ashe, the dining hall is closed for the evening. It’s past ten.”

“Oh,” said Ashe surprised. He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling embarrassed. “I didn’t think I had slept that long.”

Ignatz smiled at Ashe. He brushed back Ashe’s messy silver hair and planted a kiss on his lips.

“Eat up!” he commanded.

Ashe took a bite out of the apple he was still holding.

“I feel bad taking food from you,” he said.

Ignatz shrugged. “You need it more than me. Don’t talk with your mouth full. You could choke.”

Ashe swallowed. “I’m serious. Let’s split this.”

“Fine, if you insist. We only have one fork, though.”

Ashe rolled his eyes. “We spend every day kissing each other. I’m sure it’s fine for us to share a fork.”

Ignatz laughed. He settled next to Ashe on the bed and put the dinner tray on his lap.

“I used to beg my mother to make breakfast in bed for me. This is close enough,” Ignatz said. He scooped a bit of Blessed Jelly into his mouth. The plum dessert stained his pink lips.

Ashe sighed. “I never liked being in bed much,” he said. “I wish I could get out of this one. I wish I could do anything. I tried reading earlier, but I couldn’t even do that.”

Ignatz picked the book up again. He examined the well-worn copy of Loog and The Maiden of Wind.

“I didn’t know you read romances,” exclaimed Ignatz.

Ashe furrowed his brow. “Ignatz, that’s not a romance. It’s a knight’s tale. My favorite knight's tale, actually.”

“I’ve read it before,” said Ignatz. “I used to try and copy the illustrations. I’m pretty sure it’s a romance? Don’t you remember when Loog confesses his love for the Maiden of Wind? She’s his whole reason for becoming a knight and the only thing he truly cares about.”

Ashe did remember the final scene in the book. He recalled not caring for it as a child, preferring the battle scenes. He did enjoy it when Loog took his oath to protect the Maiden of Wind, however. But otherwise, he had never really paid much attention to the romantic elements of the book.

Ignatz opened up the book and began reading it aloud.

> “ _I vow my life to you_ _,_ _Maiden. I, King of Lions_ _,_ _vow to protect you. Your beauty and virtue bring such joy to the world that you make it worth living._ ”

It was a line that Ashe knew well. He had the whole story memorized by heart, but hearing Ignatz read it made every word feel different. Was Loog and The Maiden of Wind really a romance? Ignatz could find poetry in anything, including the epic knight's tale.

Ashe ate some more of the food as Ignatz read a few more lines.

“This book changed my life,” said Ashe, when Ignatz stopped reading. “I found it while breaking into Lonato’s house. I remember the feeling of my heart racing when he caught me. I felt like my life was over.”

Ignatz was mesmerized by an illustration on the page. His fingers traced along with the shape of the knight on a steed.

“Thankfully it didn’t,” he said.

Ashe leaned his head on Ignatz’s shoulder. “I’ve felt ill every day since the battle,” he confessed.

He let out a sigh. It wasn’t an ache or actual physical pain, but there was a cloud of confusion looming over him at all times. It felt like Ashe had to complete every task with a weight holding him down. He wanted to explain everything to Ignatz, but there weren’t words for what he was feeling.

Ignatz took his hand. “ Sometimes I’m so scared that I can’t breathe, but my body is working just fine," he said. "I’m not sure...it’s like a nervous feeling, but I’m not actually ill.”

“I’ve never felt this way,” said Ashe. He was disappointed in himself. His energy and ambition were gone from his body and he wanted to turn his brain off.

Ignatz gave his hand a squeeze. “I can’t really offer much, but from everything I’ve learned about you, I can imagine that you’ve never had time to dwell on things.”

Ashe was confused by Ignatz's words at first. He almost took offense, before he actually understood. Ignatz was right. He never had time to dwell on the life he was given. He never felt like he deserved more or that his childhood was unjust. Every day he was thankful to be alive and that was enough. When he was taken in by Lonato, he knew that the Goddess had blessed him. He knew that he was destined for greatness, but that greatness wasn’t for him. He wanted to make Lonato proud, he wanted to make Christophe proud, his siblings, and of course his parents. This wasn’t an illness that he felt. It was sadness. It was raw, pure sadness.

“Is it in the Goddess's plan for us to suffer? So many of my classmates have had rough lives,” said Ashe.

“Ashe, you’ve had a rough life,” interrupted Ignatz. “You’re selfless to a fault.”

Ashe shook his head. He didn’t mean to pivot the conversation towards his classmates, but it felt odd, wallowing in self-pity. He knew Dedue had lost his entire family. Dimitri had lost his parents. Felix his brother, was also Ingrid’s fiance. There was so much hurt that it didn’t make sense for him to feel like his pain was the only important one.

Ignatz sighed. “You’ve done nothing to upset the Goddess if that’s what you’re worried about. I don’t believe she wants to make your life miserable. Or anyones. Some things might just be out of her control. I do believe she loves you.”

He stroked Ashe’s face.

Ashe felt numb all over, but Ignatz’s touch broke through the protective wall Ashe imagined was around him. He felt every texture of Ignatz’s warm, smooth hand.

“What makes you believe that?” he asked.

Ignatz smiled. “Because she must have brought us together. At least, you feel like a blessing to me.”

The answer surprised Ashe, but he didn’t disagree. It was nice that he had made a friend at The Officers Academy, but it was a blessing that he had made such a loving friend. Everything was new for both of them and they were happy to learn together.

The best way Ashe could reply was leaning into Ignatz for a kiss. Ashe could taste the plum jelly from his lips. Ashe never really cared for Blessed Jelly, but the sweetness coming from Ignatz’s mouth was delightful. When they finally broke apart, he pressed his hand to Ignatz’s heart.

Ignatz was a little startled.

“I vow my life to you, Sir. I, Ashe, thief of riches and archer of…”

Ashe was stuck.

“Freckles?” suggested Ignatz. He never missed an opportunity to rave about what he considered Ashe’s best feature.

Ashe rolled his eyes. He thought about it for a second.

“Archer of the people, vow to protect you.” He smiled at his new title. “Your beauty and virtue bring such joy to the world that you make it worth living.”

He laughed and gave Ignatz another kiss.

The boys relaxed next to each other as they finished their shared dinner. 

“You know, I’ve been thinking about how there are no books about two knights falling in love,” said Ignatz.

Ashe nodded, then replied, “I don’t recall saying anything about them falling in love, but I remember conversations.”

Ignatz rolled his eyes. “Perhaps we should be authors. Write and draw our own story.”

Ashe smiled. “I’d rather be a legend.”

Ignatz smiled. It must have been a relief, to have Ashe acting like himself again.

“I’m sure you will be, and a great deal more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, two chapter updates this week. So this chapter was sitting in my drafts for the past two weeks? I completely forgot to post it. Shout out to tarinumenesse for reading this chapter and my upcoming ones.


	7. The Boy on the Battlefield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: This chapter contains PG-13 level talk and conversations about sex.  
> The Mock Battle gets more interesting when Ashe and Ignatz make a bet.

Ignatz was spending his free time training with Raphael and Leonie. They were preparing for the Battle of the Eagle and Lion, another traditional mock battle. He was determined to do better than the last one. 

Ignatz focused on target practice while Leonie and Raphael sparred with each other. It was nice to spend time with his classmates. He was focusing better now that Ashe’s mood had improved. For the past few months, Ashe had been occupied with everything from routine bandit routing to helping find Seteth’s kidnapped sister. Ashe seemed overwhelmed, but he informed Ignatz that he was more than fine. 

Being with Ashe had taken up a lot of his time, but Ignatz couldn’t help that he wanted to spend every moment with him. It was still new and they didn’t know how long they had. It was getting more difficult seeing Ashe come back from battle tattered and bruised. Of course, Ignatz knew the dangers of being a knight for himself, but he had never factored in worrying about someone else. He hadn’t realized that it would be just as painful to see Ashe come back with bruises and scars, as if they were on his own body. 

Leonie had tackled Raphael to the ground. 

“Yes!” she shouted. 

Raphael’s brute strength was no match for Leonie’s street-smart, dirty way of fighting that she proudly contributed to Captain Jeralt. She was trying to teach Raphael to think outside of the punch and be swift on his feet. 

“I understand that brawling is important to you Raphael, but there’s so much more to combat. You’re a big guy, so when you fall it’s a big fall.” 

Raphael got up and rubbed his back. “It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s not like we’re seeing any action any time soon. The professor's class gets all the real missions. We’re just here doing chores and learning nothing.” 

Leonie shook her head. “Between Dimitri and Professor Byleth, they have more people familiar with battle than us. It only makes sense they get the tougher missions.” 

“I’m fine without seeing combat,” Ignatz said. “I have enough trouble sleeping with Ashe always in danger.” 

“How is the boyfriend anyway?” asked Leonie. 

Ignatz had stopped bothering to correct anyone who referred to Ashe as his boyfriend not that long ago. But they still never said the word to each other. As far as they knew, they were just Ignatz and Ashe. However, it was easier for everyone else if they were boyfriends. 

“He’s fine. I worry about him a lot,” said Ignatz. He tried not to let his voice sound bothered by the confession. He knew how dedicated Ashe was to becoming a knight. It was something Ignatz should be attempting to copy instead of discouraging. Ignatz settled on staying neutral. Ignatz wasn’t Ashe’s priority, but Ashe shouldn’t be Ignatz’s either. His parents had sent him to the Officers Academy with a goal. He was there to help save their business, not to worry over a classmate. “His class has led so many missions lately. He gets injured a lot.” 

Raphael took off his gauntlets and massaged his knuckles. “I wish we were doing something like them. Hell, I wish we were doing anything.” 

“Maybe if we win the mock battle, they’ll entrust us with more work!” A voice behind them said. 

The group turned around to find Claude. Ignatz didn’t spend a lot of time with his house leader, mostly because he was intimidated by him. He was handsome beyond compare and skilled at everything he set his mind to. Next to Claude, Ignatz couldn’t help but feel like a little boy. Sure, Claude wasn’t a man yet, but he was closer to becoming one than Ignatz. 

“We’re training for it!” said Leonie defensively. “It would be a lot more helpful if, say maybe our leader would join us?” 

Claude chuckled. “I don’t have to baby you guys. However, I am free today. I plan on joining this little training group.” He turned to Ignatz. “Particularly, I was hoping to spend some time with you.” 

“Me?” asked Ignatz, startled. It was common knowledge that Ignatz was probably the weakest person in the Golden Deers, perhaps in all the Officers Academy. It had become more apparent now that Ashe had become a sniper. The few times Ignatz had trained with Ashe recently, there was no denying that his form was amazing. His arms were getting more muscular. He felt different when he wrapped himself around Ignatz. He felt more solid. Ignatz didn’t mind the change physically, but he was worried that his friend would outgrow him. 

“Yes,” said Claude. “I’ve been wanting to help you with archery for some time now. I’ve just been occupied and I know you have been too.” 

Ignatz felt his face get warm. It was one thing for his friends like Leonie and Raphael to comment about his relationship with Ashe, but it was completely different for his superior to take notice. 

“Uh yes,” he said, “I am considerably busy with my studies—” 

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” interrupted Claude. 

Ignatz sighed. 

“I’m talking about your art. I saw your painting the other day. It was beautiful, Ignatz,” said Claude. 

Ignatz bit his lip. It wasn’t the comment he was expecting. 

“Also, you making out with that silver-haired Blue Lion is taking up all your time.” 

There it was. 

Leonie scoffed. “Like you’re one to talk. Don’t think we haven’t noticed you going in and out of Petra’s room.” 

“I’m helping her with grammar,” snapped Claude. 

Leonie smirked. “Who knew grammar could be so sweaty!” 

Ignatz winced at the comment. Leonie could be so crude, and just throw in talk about sex without warning. It made Ignatz uneasy. 

Claude rolled his eyes. “Moving on. Ignatz, you can’t let your feelings get in the way of battle. The battle of Eagle and the Lion is the perfect time for us to prove ourselves. Are you capable of fighting your boyfriend?” 

“I’m sure I am,” said Ignatz. “We were both on the battlefield together at the beginning of the year.” 

Claude laughed. “Yeah, when he was a stranger. Also, both of you got knocked out pretty fast. From what I heard, he’s doing excellent now and we need you to be on par.” 

Ignatz wanted to disagree. He wanted to tell Claude that he had always felt strongly for Ashe even at the mock battle, but he refrained. That would be him confessing more than he had confessed even to Ashe. Part of Ignatz had always felt like Ashe was special from the moment he saw him, as if he had always known him. It was something he kept to himself because he was nervous about Ashe’s reaction. 

Ignatz nodded. 

“Excellent,” said Claude. “Grab your bow. We’re going to win this thing.” 

* * *

Training with Claude was intense. Ignatz had learned that he was doing everything wrong, and he had since the moment he picked up his bow. His stance was incorrect, his aim was off, and he wasn’t keeping his bow maintained properly. Claude apologized several times for not taking an interest in Ignatz sooner. He felt like it was his responsibility to make sure all of his classmates were battle-ready. 

Claude had a minor crisis when Ignatz completely missed the target, almost wounding his hand in the process. Claude held Ignatz’s hand examining the injury. “I have completely failed as a leader. Do you realize if we were going into battle you could die?” he asked looking into Igantz’s eyes. 

The idea of dying had never left Ignatz's mind. He believed he wasn't meant to be a knight. Without lots of training and extra attention, it wouldn’t happen for him. Ignatz didn’t want to let his family down, but there was part of him that felt like his lack of progress was secretly rebellion. He wanted to paint, not become a knight. He felt guilty for not being better. 

Having Claude in front of him, worried about his safety, was uncomfortable and inspiring. He didn’t know what to say to his fearless leader when he was always flawless. Claude was always so confident. The only thing that came to his mind was, “I’ll do my best.” 

They trained together until Ignatz felt like his arms would fall off. When he came back to his room that night, Ashe was waiting by his door. He greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and pulled him into a hug which made Ignatz groan in pain. 

“Sorry, you look tired,” said Ashe following him into Ignatz’s room. 

Ignatz placed his bag on his desk and collapsed on to his bed. “I feel tired. Claude came to train with us today. He was worried about me.” 

“Worried how?” asked Ashe settling down next to him. 

“Worried that I can’t kill you, or worse that I could get killed,” said Ignatz closing his eyes. His mind was as exhausted as his body. 

“Kill?” Ashe sat up and looked down at Ignatz. 

Ignatz's eyes shot open realizing what he said. “Sorry, in the mock battle. We’re training just for the mock battle. Nothing more than that.” 

Ashe sighed. “Thank the Goddess. You had me worried there for a second.” 

Ignatz, too exhausted to get up, pulled Ashe down by his hood for a kiss. Without hesitation, Ashe knew exactly what to do, pressing his lips against Ignatz’s. His eyelashes fluttered against Ignatz’s cheek as Ashe’s lips traveled further down to Ignatz's neck. 

Ignatz had a hard time keeping his breathing even as Ashe’s mouth worked on him. “Ashe,” he managed to mumble when he felt his hands creep lower. 

“Sorry,” said Ashe, returning his hands to himself. He sometimes got carried away when they were kissing. 

The boys had kept their exploration of each other's bodies to a minimum. It was more for Ignatz's comfort than Ashe’s. Ashe was always the first to take off his shirt and urge Ignatz to do the same. While Ignatz couldn’t deny he enjoyed looking at Ashe shirtless and often thought about seeing more, he just wasn’t ready to do more than kissing. Touching anywhere below the waist was too much, even with both boys aching for it. Ignatz's insecurities outweighed his desires. 

Leonie’s crude words came back into Ignatz’s head. _Who knew grammar could be so sweaty?_ He was becoming painfully aware of his virginity as various people around him began to express interest in each other. He was being held back by something. He had a willing partner, but something was missing. 

Ashe wasn’t upset by Ignatz’s hesitation, or if he was, he didn’t express it to him. He respected Ignatz’s boundaries and kept his fantasies to a minimum. Now and then when they’d share a bed, Ashe would describe to Ignatz what he wanted from him, but it was always wrapped in “whenever you’re ready” or “one day.” Ignatz wasn’t sure when one day would be, but he was confident that he wanted it to be with Ashe. 

Ashe placed his hand over Ignatz’s heart. “Since you gracefully brought up the subject of us dying, can I confess I don’t want to die a virgin?” 

Ignatz looked at him and smiled. “It’s a good thing you’re a much better archer than me.” 

Ashe rolled his eyes. They relaxed in silence for a moment and Ignatz felt himself drifting to sleep before being interrupted. 

“I have an idea,” Ashe said. 

“I’m listening,” said Ignatz with his eyes closed. He was making a mental note to never train with Claude again. 

“Next week in the battle, if I knock you out, we get to do more. Or at least a little more than we’ve done. You can pick what we do, but I just want more of you than hugs and kisses.” 

Ashe did not sound confident in his proposal. Ignatz jaw dropped. Ashe was making it difficult for him to relax this evening. He looked over to see his partner’s face blushing. 

“I saw Sylvain hiding from a woman in your room a week ago,” Ignatz said. “I’m worried about his influence on you.” 

That comment made Ashe laugh. “Trust me, Sylvain would not want me doing any of this. He’s strangely protective over Flayn and I. I said a swear in front of him the other day and he threw a complete fit.” 

“Your insatiable classmate thinks you’re too precious for those deviances?” Ignatz teased. 

“Yes, my boyfriend does as well.” 

The words slipped out of Ashe’s mouth with ease. 

Ignatz felt a tightness in his chest. One of them had finally said it. 

“Boyfriend?” 

Ashe responded by burying his face into Ignatz's neck. The pressure hurt a little bit, but Ignatz was so delighted that he didn’t care. 

After a few moments of their cuddling in silence, Ignatz spoke again. “So, boyfriend, what if I knock you out?” 

“Pardon?” asked Ashe. The word sounded less like a question and more like an accusation. 

“What do I get if I knock you out of the battle? It’s not enough just to keep your advances at bay.” 

Ashe scoffed. “Well, hypothetically speaking if you were to knock me out of the battle you could have whatever you want.” 

Ignatz thought it about for a moment. What in the world would he want from Ashe that he already didn’t have? The idea came to him. 

“I want to paint you.” 

It wasn’t as big of an ask as Ashe’s, but it was something Ignatz had been dreaming about for some time. He envisioned painting Ashe in the vain of Loog. He was softer and more delicate than the illustrations in the knight’s tale, but Ignatz could imagine it so clearly. He had his heart set on getting Ashe to pose for him in full armor and bow. 

Ashe blushed. “You want to paint me? Really?” 

“I want you to pose for hours for me and let me bring every detail of you to life. You’re the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen and I want to capture every bit of your loveliness.” 

Ashe bit his lips. Ignatz's heart raced. He wondered if he had said too much. He was always worrying he was saying too much. He was almost about to take it all back when Ashe leaned forward and kissed him. 

“Deal,” Ashe said after breaking away. 

Ignatz stroked his face. “Deal.” 

* * *

Ignatz spent every day leading up to the Battle of Eagle and Lion with Claude, training. It wasn’t enough time to get Ignatz in top shape, but it was enough to learn his tool better and get a grasp on battle strategy. 

“Excellent, Ignatz! What has you so determined all of a sudden?” asked Claude after Ignatz scored a bullseye. 

“Just wanting to make you proud,” said Ignatz. 

“You’re lying, but I appreciate it.” 

“I have a bet with Ashe,” explained Ignatz, taking a sip of water from his canteen. “It’s sort of important that I take him out on the battlefield.” 

Claude stared at him with a big grin on his face. “That is a little weird, but whatever it takes to get that win.” 

On the day of the battle, Ignatz was prepared. He stared at Ashe, with his team across the field, as he applied wax to his bowstring just like Claude had taught him. He counted all of his arrows and took a deep breath. He was ready to fight. 

Once again, Claude had paired him off as back up for Raphael, but this time Ignatz was determined not just to hide behind his friend. He had informed his housemates about his bet against Ashe. While everyone on the team wanted to beat the Blue Lions, they were all invested in assisting Ignatz with his mission. Even Lysithea, who was constantly judging Ignatz, was excited to be in on the plan. She mentioned something about how the whole thing was very romantic and adult. Ignatz wouldn’t go that far, but he appreciated her help. 

They took their positions. He looked across the field to see Ashe staring right at him. Ashe placed his hand to his mouth and blew a kiss in Ignatz's direction. Under different circumstances, it would have made Ignatz’s heart melt, but he knew better. Claude had warned him that Ashe would probably try to use Ignatz’s affection for him to throw him off. Instead of returning the kiss, Ignatz simply pointed an arrow in his direction. 

A smirk appeared on Ashe’s face. 

The battle began. Ignatz’s classmates made progress on defeating the members of the Black Eagles that threatened Ashe while also protecting themselves from the Blue Lions. Dorothea attempted to hit Ashe was a spell, but she was blocked by Leonie knocking her out with a lance. Lorenz successfully disarmed Sylvain when he tried to attack Ignatz. 

For his part, Ashe wasn’t concerning himself with trying to take out Ignatz. He had successfully taken out his good friend Caspar, and grazed Hilda, who in return held back from ripping him to shreds. Ignatz would have to thank her later. 

Finally, Ignatz approached Ashe from the side. His boyfriend was caught off guard. With all the thrill of the battle, Ashe must have not realized Ignatz was still in it. 

Without thinking, Ignatz pulled back his string and sent his arrow flying into Ashe. Ashe went down. The whole ordeal was over in less than a few seconds, but seeing Ashe fall to the ground made Ignatz’s heart race. He ran over in a panic, wanting to help Ashe out. He didn’t even notice Ingrid’s lance, which met the side of his stomach and knocked him out of the battle as well. The two boys were sent off the field. 

The boys' locked eyes at the sidelines were healers waiting to check their injuries. Ashe was in pain, but he was smiling none the less. Ignatz felt like crying. Yes, he had won the bet, but he didn’t like it. He now knew the answer to the question Claude had asked a week ago. He could kill his boyfriend, but he prayed he never had to. 

* * *

Despite their best efforts, the Blue Lions had won the battle yet again. It had come down to Claude and Dimitri on the battlefield. Claude, for the most part, wasn’t too mad about it. If he had to lose, at least he had lost to the best. At the after-party for the battle, he gathered everyone around and gave a speech. 

“Shouldn’t the speech be given by the winners?” asked Dorothea. 

Claude was standing on a table holding a glass of wine. Ignatz was sure he wasn’t supposed to be drinking, but nobody said anything. 

“Care to give a speech your highness?” Claude asked. 

Dimitri stood next to the table, arms crossed, shaking his head no. 

“I thought so,” said Claude. “Where was I? Ah yes, when I had first learned about the battle of Eagle and Lion, I thought to myself, this country has been torn apart for centuries. As a future leader, I wasn’t sure how to help not only my region but the entire country. However, after attending school and fighting alongside everyone here, we’re all here to make Fódlan better. We take part in this mock battle not just to determine which house is strongest, but to also remind ourselves that we can do better than our history. We fought today, but tomorrow we’re together again.” 

Ignatz watched Ashe look up at Claude with stars in his eyes. Ignatz laced his fingers through Ashe’s and rested his head on his shoulder. He liked everything that Claude was saying. Every word was a comfort. He believed in the future Claude wanted. 

After Claude was finished, everyone applauded. He downed his wine and jumped off the table, giving Dimitri a solid pat on the back, which earned him a look from Dedue. The band started playing and people around them began to dance. Despite the pressure of earlier and the battle, everyone was in a good mood. 

Ashe pulled Ignatz to the dance floor, but Ignatz wasn’t sure how to dance. He held on to his partner, trying his best to keep up. After a few stumbles and Ashe having a laughing fit, they took a break and left the hall for a walk. Under the stars, with just the torches lighting their way, they walked. At the dock, Ignatz pulled Ashe into him and gave him a deep kiss. 

Ignatz pulled back to see Ashe’s smiling face. 

“I can’t believe you won!” Ashe said. “I’m so proud of you.” 

Ignatz smiled. “It didn’t feel like a victory at the time.” 

“What do you mean?” asked Ashe. 

Ignatz sighed. “Seeing that arrow hit you, knowing that it came from me, all of it. Once you went down, I only wanted to run out and save you.” 

Ashe pulled Ignatz into a hug. “You’re too sweet for this.” 

“As are you. All of us really, I don’t think anyone’s made for this.” 

Ashe nodded. “We’ll be ready for it. Christophe died as a knight; I plan on doing the same if I have to.” 

Ignatz reached out and touched Ashe’s hair. “If that’s the case then I change my mind.” 

“Change your mind?” 

“I don’t want my prize to be just getting painting you,” said Ignatz placing his hand on Ashe’s cheek. 

“You don’t want to paint me anymore?” 

Ignatz chuckled. “Oh, I do, but that’s not the only thing I want.” 

He kissed Ashe again, letting his tongue slip between his teeth. His hand moved from his cheek to his chest and lower than he’d ever let it drift before. 

Ashe gasped into his mouth. “Ignatz?” 

“What I’m saying is I guess you also win,” Ignatz answered and kissed him again. “Let’s get back to my dorm. I’ll paint you later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey readers, if you feel like any of the sex talk is chapter is warranting an M/Underage Tag rating please inform me and I will update it. I felt it was tame enough and mostly fade to black, but I want to make sure people reading my fiction are as comfortable as possible.


	8. The Boy in the Goddess Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OMG It's a Godddess Tower Scene

The missions that the Blue Lions were being depployed to were getting stranger and more threatening. After returning from Remire Village, Ashe didn’t know what make of everything. When Tomas revealed himself to be Solon, it was too much to handle. First, it was Lonato, then Jeritza kidnapping Flayn, and now the friendly librarian was revealed to be a villainous mastermind. Ashe had prided himself on always thinking the best of people, even those who did wrong. It was one of the fundamental differences between him and his friend Caspar von Bergliez. However, he was struggling to find the empathy that had always come easy to him. He was losing a grip on who to trust.

Ashe made notes mentally of those around him he could count on. His house was full of good people, he liked them all. Professor Byleth was odd, but he didn’t mind them. Ashe didn’t believe they were hiding anything. He did have his suspicions about Flayn, but after seeing the condition she was in after her kidnapping, he wouldn’t dare ask her more than she was willing to answer. She was so curious about the world in the most innocent way possible. If she was hiding something, it most likely wasn’t a big deal.

He had befriended folks outside his house as well. Caspar, Cyril, Petra, and Marianne were all people dear to him who he trusted. Of course, there was also Ignatz, who he more than trusted, especially after the leap they had taken after the mock battle.

Thankfully, they were given a small break this month. With the ball coming up, it was suggested that the team relax. Ashe was excited about all the fun festivities. He wanted to see the dance contest and he couldn’t wait to see Ignatz dressed up for the occasion. He was going into town to get his boyfriend something nice for the event when Caspar offered to join him. 

They made their way through various merchants with little success. Ashe wasn’t sure what he was looking for as a gift. He thought about art supplies, but he knew nothing about what Ignatz preferred. He considered jewelry, but Ignatz wouldn’t wear it. Tea or baked treats weren’t personal enough.

Caspar was having just as difficult of time looking for something. He hadn’t mentioned needing to go into town for anything, but he seemed to be on the hunt.

“Do you think you’re going to meet Ignatz at the Goddess Tower?” asked Casper examined various knives that were for sale.

The idea of meeting Ignatz at the Goddess Tower had crossed Ashe’s mind. The legend of the Goddess Tower was about a man and a woman falling in love and being bounded forever. There was no telling if the magic of the two would work for two boys.

“Maybe, I’m not too sure. Love sounds like a big step.”

“Anything is possible. You two have already made bigger commitments to each other,” said Caspar.

Ashe swallowed. “How do you know?” he asked, panicking.

Caspar chuckled. “Well I didn’t, but your reaction confirms my suspicions. I went by your dorm the other night and I overheard a few things.”

Ashe had never felt so embarrassed in his life. Everyone knew that he was in a relationship with Ignatz, but they did their best to keep things as private as possible. Ashe’s only family were his siblings, who wouldn’t care much if word reached them, but Ignatz had his parents and brother to think about. Raphael kept things from his sister, who still frequently wrote to ask how Ignatz was doing. Ignatz never went into much detail about his relationship with Maya. Ashe felt like she meant more to him than a first kiss. Ashe never pushed the subject, because it would hurt too much.

“Relax, I won’t tell anyone. I am curious though…” said Caspar, trailing off. They made their way over to some merchants selling books. Caspar looked down at the different options, trying to not make eye contact with Ashe. “Why him?”

The question threw Ashe off. He wasn’t positive about what Caspar meant by the question, but he was prepared for the worst outcome. “Caspar…I didn’t…”

“I don’t mean it like that. I’m fine,” said Caspar in his usual playful voice. “I just want to know, why do you like him? How did you know you liked him over everyone else in the academy? I guess you could include me in that? Not that I care much.”

Ashe was pretty uncomfortable with the conversation. He had to admit that he was attracted to Caspar, but they were friends and they argued too much for Ashe’s liking. He wasn’t interested in Caspar’s more reckless behavior. It was Ignatz’s sensitivity and gentle ways that had captured Ashe’s attention. He tried his best to explain this to Caspar.

“He’s sweet and delicate. I like the way he thinks about the world. He can see the beauty in everything and when we’re together, I feel lucky.”

Caspar smiled at him. “I’m asking Linhardt to meet me at the Goddess Tower,” he said.

Ashe’s mouth hung open. “What?” Ashe was aware that Linhardt and Caspar were close.

“I can’t wax poetically like you, but I do know I love him. We’ve known each other for years. Of course, his father hates mine, but we’ve always... I don’t know…been there for each other. He’s just so smart and capable. We’re different, but we understand each other.” Caspar picked up a book. “Ah, I found what I was looking for. It’s a book on Crests. I’m going to leave it on Linhardt's desk with a note asking him to meet me at the Goddess Tower.”

“Does Linhardt feel the same way?”

Caspar responded by pointing to a small mark on his neck. It was hickey that Ashe assumed was given to him by Linhardt.

“Since we were fourteen.” 

Ashe’s heart could have leaped out of his chest. Hearing Caspar open up about Linhardt was thrilling. It was the same comfort that he had felt when Annette told him about her feelings for Mercedes in the library. There were more people like him. It was nice. He couldn’t help, but smile.

“Wipe that dopey look off your face,” said Caspar, giving Ashe a playful punch. “You should take Ignatz to the Goddess Tower.”

Caspar’s mouth dropped as his eyes fell on a stone. “Here,” he said, picking the stone up and handing it to Ashe.

Ashe examined the smooth yellow rock with a small hole in the center.

“It’s a grounding charm,” Caspar explained. “It helps people who are afraid of lightning. I keep one on me.”

“You’re afraid of lightning?”

Caspar chuckled. “Can’t punch lightening. Anyway, it helps. Maybe you can give it to him as a reminder of your first kiss.” 

Ashe had informed Caspar about their first kiss. It felt like ages ago that that stormy night had changed things for them. The hurt from the morning after had been dulled with time, and of course the affection Ignatz now showered him with.

It was a perfect gift. Ashe tossed his arms around Caspar’s neck. “Thank you! Thank you!” he exclaimed as Caspar struggled with the hug.

“Alright, enough,” shouted Caspar, pushing Ashe off of him.

Ashe giggled as he stumbled backward. Life at the Officer’s Academy was difficult, but having friends made it so much easier. Caspar had helped him find the perfect gift, and he felt confident in going to the Goddess Tower and making a promise with Ignatz.

* * *

Annette ran a comb through Ashe’s hair for what felt like the hundredth time.

“Almost done!” she said, with one last swipe. She reached into a pot on the dresser and worked a small amount of paste into his hair. “I borrowed this from Sylvain,” she explained. “There.” 

She held up her mirror to Ashe. His hair was shinier and neater. He was afraid to say it, but he thought he looked more handsome. There was something about being fussed over by his friend that made him feel nice.

They were in Annette’s room, preparing for the ball. Mercedes was at the vanity, applying make-up on Ingrid. She wasn’t as into being dolled up as Ashe was. She looked like she was miserable and she wanted to get it all over with.

“Do you think you’re going to dance with anyone tonight?” asked Mercedes as she applied a soft pink rouge to Ingrid’s cheek.

“I’m not sure, although…” she trailed off. Her face blushed a color deeper than the rouge.

Annette looked over at Ingrid with a wide smile. “Ingrid has an admirer. She’s too shy to talk about it though.”

“Who?” asked Ashe. Girlish gossip wasn’t his interest, but Ingrid was so stone-faced all the time that he had to know who was making her all flustered.

“It’s nothing,” said Ingrid calmly. “It’s just Raphael did ask me if we could have a dance at the ball.”

“Raphael?” Ashe had never seen the two interact. It didn’t make sense to him. Ingrid was proper in all senses of the word. Raphael, on the other hand, was sloppy and loud. He was different to the Prince and the boys Ingrid usually kept the company of.

Ingrid turned to Ashe. “I know what you’re thinking, he’s a bit of a brute. Yes, that is true, but there’s a kindness to him. I don’t know how to explain it. He is nothing like my friends. However, he asked me to train with him a while ago and we’ve just been spending time together ever since.”

Mercedes giggled. “Wow, Ingrid. Who knew you could be such a softy?”

Ingrid scoffed. “Please, he got an earful the first time we had lunch together. He wants to be a knight. He doesn’t know how though. Not everyone was lucky to grow up with such a shining example like Glenn.”

The mention of Ingrid’s late fiancé, the brother of Felix, was always a sad subject. Glenn had died at the battle of Duscur like Christophe. Ashe knew the story of how Glenn bravely sacrificed himself for Prince Dimitri. He was the model of what they all should be.

“Glenn, what a hero,” said Mercedes, tilting Ingrid’s face up to apply deep red lip color.

Ingrid sighed. “Things would be a lot easier if he were here, but I’m proud of him every day.”

“Do you think he’s proud of you?”

The question fell out of Ashe. He didn’t want to trouble Ingrid with the thought, but it had been bouncing around his brain for so long. He wondered what Christophe would think of seeing him with Ignatz. He wondered if he was making him happy by attending the Officer’s Academy and serving the Kingdom.

“He is,” said Ingrid confidently. She turned to examine herself in the mirror. “Oh,” she said.

Ashe could tell that she was speechless by the girl in the mirror. Her hair was fixed in a braided up-do. Her skin was positively glowing.

“Ingrid, you look beautiful,” said Ashe. He was amazed at her transformation. The boyish lady knight was practically a princess.

“Alright!” said Annette, clasping her hands together. “Let’s hurry up. We have a ball to get to.”

* * *

Everyone looked their best for the ball. Even Felix made an appearance, despite saying the whole thing was frivolous and ridiculous. He blushed hard when Dorothea, dressed in her dancer outfit, asked him to dance. Everyone was having a good time. Even Bernadetta had left her room for the occasion and Ashe was sure he saw Marianne smile when Sylvain complimented her dress.

It was awhile before Ignatz arrived with Raphael, who made his way over to Ingrid immediately. Ashe couldn’t deny he cleaned up nicely;, Ingrid’s scolding could be a powerful thing. Ignatz looked breathtaking in a tan suit that was similar to the navy one Ashe had picked out. He ran up to Ashe immediately and hugged him. A waltz played and the two boys danced. It was strange being the only same-sex pair on the dance floor until Caspar and Linhardt joined them.

“Linhardt and Caspar?” whispered Ignatz into Ashe’s ear after the dance ended.

Ashe nodded. “Caspar recently told me when we went into town. Speaking of that,” Ashe said, pulling Ignatz off to the side of the ballroom. “I got you this.”

He pulled out a tiny green box from his pocket. There was a small, deep blue bow that Annette tied around the box. She had thought the grounding charm was an adorable idea.

Ignatz's face lit up. “Thank you,” he said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think to get you anything.”

Ashe brushed his cheek. “I didn’t expect you to. Open it!”

Ignatz gently undid the ribbon. “It’s a lovely color. Perhaps we can save it for something.” He popped the lid off and stared down at the yellow stone. He looked confused. “I love it, but what is it?” 

“It’s a grounding charm. Caspar helped me pick it out. It’s to help when people are afraid of lightning.” Ashe felt like he was talking too much, but he couldn’t stop. He was worried that Ignatz didn’t like his gift. “It’s to remind you of our first kiss and perhaps protect you for…when I’m not around.”

“Ashe…” started Ignatz.

Ashe’s whole body felt tense. He was so nervous.

“I love it,” said Ignatz. “It’s thoughtful. Thank you!” He wrapped his arms around Ashe. “I think I know what to do with the ribbon.” Ignatz strung the silky ribbon through the hole in the grounding charm and placed it around his neck. He tucked the makeshift necklace under his shirt.

Ashe pressed his hand to Ignatz’s chest where he felt the stone sit. He loved everything about this moment together.

“There’s one more thing,” said Ashe. He grabbed on to Ignatz’s hand. “Follow me.”

Ashe led Ignatz to the Goddess Tower. He was surprised they were alone there. Several people had made plans to meet there that night. He had thought he saw Professor Byleth slipped out with Dimitri following shortly after. He had assumed they were meeting here.

“You’ve heard of the Legend, haven’t you?” asked Ashe. 

Ignatz laughed. “Yes, I am a romantic in every sense of the word.”

“We should make a promise,” said Ashe abruptly.

“Okay,” said Ignatz. “What type of promise?”

Ashe wasn’t sure. The Goddess Tower was supposed to be magical. He made a silent prayer to the Goddess, asking for some guidance. If this promise was to be real and forever, it shouldn’t be taken lightly. A promise came to him.

“It’s going to sound strange, but hear me out,” Ashe said.

“I’m listening,” said Ignatz.

“I’ve been thinking about all the strange things happening here, this world. It’s changing. Losing Lonato was hard for me. He was hurting and he kept all of it from me.”

It was a guilt that Ashe had mentioned before. He still loved his adoptive father with all of his heart, even with him being labeled a traitor. He accepted that perhaps he didn’t know Lonato as well as he thought he did, but part of him still believed he was manipulated into going against the church.

“Ashe, we’ve talked about this. You know it wasn’t your fault.”

Ignatz kissed Ashe’s hand. It was a little thing he would always do when Ashe worried too much.

“I know,” said Ashe. After the million times, Ignatz had already explained it to him, he knew for certain that it wasn’t his fault. “However, I never want someone I love and care about not letting me in again.” The words sounded a lot harsher than Ashe meant. He had to soften it. “I mean, Ignatz, I feel like things aren’t right here. I want to make a promise to you that no matter what happens, what changes, I will always be the same and honest with you.”

Ignatz looked at Ashe. He didn’t understand. “Ashe, where is all this coming from?”

Ashe sighed. “These missions, these revelations, it’s hard to know who to trust, but I know I trust you. I know you’re more than my friend and I always want that.”

Ignatz gave Ashe a soft kiss. “I promise to you that I will always be myself. I will always be honest with you no matter what.”

“Even if our territories go to war?” asked Ashe.

Ignatz laughed. “I don’t see that as a possibility, but yes Ashe. Even if we go to war. No ideas or land would mean anything to me without you.”

Ashe rested his head against the stone of the Goddess Tower. He wished he had Ignatz’s comfort of not believing the war was possible. From the months of missions and the notes that he found among Lonato’s things, he wasn’t that sure.

Ignatz kissed him against the tower wall, snapping him out of his thoughts. The kiss had pushed all the negativity from his mind. There would be another time to worry about that. For now, he was at the Goddess Tower with his love. He decided to let the tower’s magic do its work.


	9. The Heretic In the Papers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashe tells Ignatz about Christophe's death.

Remire Village was just the start. It was heartbreaking for Ignatz to admit, but Ashe had been right to worry. At the Goddess Tower, he had thought Ashe was being dramatic. Ignatz had felt that the battles were getting to Ashe. He was foolish: The Blue Lions returned from battle with news that professor  Byleth’s father Captain  Jeralt was murdered. The murderer was another student, Monica from the Black Eagles. Monica was missing until they discovered her when rescuing  Flayn . The former Knight of  Seiros was trying to help a group of students that were turned into monsters when Monica had snuck up behind him and stabbed him in the back. It didn’t make sense to Ignatz. Captain  Jeralt was the strongest and bravest of them all. Was anyone safe anymore?

He brought up his fears when Professor Byleth approached him outside the monastery. The professor was holding up better than Ignatz had expected. They did look tired, but when they emerged from their room after a day or two of grieving, they seemed well.  Byleth was reacting a lot calmer to their father’s death than Leonie, who was spending her days' training and threatening to fight anyone who tried to stop her. Captain  Jeralt had meant a lot to Leonie and she was determined to help  Byleth track down his killer. She also made a promise to protect Captain  Jeralt’s only child with all of her heart.

She expressed this to Ignatz when he made the mistake of volunteering to train and spar with her. She had made her way through all of his classmates except for Marianne, who was spending most of her time praying for the professor. A very bruised Claude had wished Ignatz luck.

Leonie had been training since sunrise when Ignatz arrived. She didn’t say anything to him, just handed him a lance, and began sparring immediately. She knocked him down in a matter of seconds.

“Goddess,” said Ignatz as his head hit the floor.

“Get up!” demanded Leonie.

Ignatz did as he was instructed. Once again, Leonie had the upper hand and immediately knocked him down. Leonie threw her lance down with a scream.

“Why?” she shouted.

Ignatz got up. He wasn’t sure if she was even talking to him. He knew Leonie could be hotheaded and reckless, but he had never seen her like this before. She was a complete mess.

She turned to Ignatz, red in the face. “Why are you here?” she asked him.

“Because you asked me to spar with you,” replied Ignatz. He picked up the lance that she had thrown. It wasn’t badly damaged. He thought about going to the blacksmith and getting it repaired for her. 

She shook her head. “No, why are you at the academy? You have no interest in being a knight or anything. This…this is all I ever wanted. Do you know how hard it was for me to get here?” She was fighting back tears.

Ignatz’s chest clenched. He was positive Leonie wasn’t upset at him, but she was upset at the privileges he could afford. Ignatz had always admired how dedicated to her studies Leonie was. It was a common joke that she would get snappy with Professor  Byleth because she believed she was  Jeralt’s real child, but it never occurred to him that she could be jealous of everyone around her, let alone Ignatz.

“I’m sorry,” she said, catching her breath. She straightened up. “My emotions are getting to me. I just feel so alone. I want to go home, but I can’t let everyone down. You should have seen the look on my parents’ faces when I left. They’ve never looked prouder. I’ll be a failure. Besides, this is what I’m good at.”

Ignatz placed his hand on Leonie’s shoulder. “Leonie, you’re one of the toughest people I know.” It was heartbreaking to see someone so confident and capable as Leonie coming apart.

Leonie turned to Ignatz and wrapped her arms around his neck, tears soaking his uniform. “Ignatz, I’m so scared.”

He returned her hug. “I am too.”

* * *

Ignatz took the lance to the blacksmith. Ashe went along with him, because he was worried about him being anywhere that wasn’t his dorm or the Officer’s Academy, although he wasn’t even sure if those places were safe.

“Wow, Leonie was crying?” Ashe was in disbelief. “I’ve never spent much time with her, but from everything you’ve told me, she didn’t strike me as someone who cried.”

“She’s complicated,” said Ignatz. His mind drifted back to the strong, wannabe mercenary crumbling underneath his embrace. After she cried, she blew his nose and went back to training. Part of Ignatz was happy Leonie was able to confide in him. Another part worried. He had grown to love Garreg Mach and everyone at the Officer’s Academy. Ideally, he would want to be brave and defend it, but could he? He told himself yes, but seeing Leonie made him second guess.

Ashe was mostly quiet. Ignatz could tell that something was bothering him, but the market wasn’t the appropriate place to bring it up. It wasn’t until they were back in Ignatz’s dorm, with the good-as-new lance, that he finally let Ignatz in.

“Do you remember when I joined Catherine and Byleth in that mission against the Western Church?” asked Ashe. Ashe was on sitting  Ignatz’s bed while Ignatz sat on the floor trying to figure out the best method for wrapping a lance.

Ignatz recalled Ashe and a few of the other Blue Lions joining Byleth and Catherine. Catherine was a brave lady knight who served the Church. She was somewhat intimidating to Ignatz, although he did admire her. They were seeking out the Bishop of Western Church who had plotted to assassinate Lady Rhea. The same Western Church and bishop that Lonato had aligned himself with.

Ashe sighed. “I was given some papers once we finished. They were about my family.” Ashe pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. “I’ve recently finished reading them and I’m a bit lost for words. I’m doing my best to understand it.”

Ignatz took Ashe’s free hand, placing himself next to him on the bed. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

“It mentioned something about Christophe. We were told he was executed because he was involved with the attack in  Duscur . The idea never sat right with Lonato or me, but it was something that I had accepted. That wasn’t true.”

Ashe was having a hard time holding his composure. Ignatz felt him shaking. 

“He was executed because he agreed to help kill Lady Rhea. The church couldn’t risk followers learning that Lady Rhea was a target, so they covered it up.” 

“What?” asked Ignatz. “Ashe, I don’t understand.”

“Neither did I, but I confronted Catherine about it.”

“Alone?” Ignatz had a hard time imagining his sweet Ashe having the confidence to approach Catherine and demand answers.

“Of course, alone. I couldn’t risk letting other people know. I’m still the son of a heretic to some. I couldn’t risk it getting out that I’m also the brother of one. They’d believe my whole family to be against the church. Alessandra and Archie would be outcasts.” He sighed. “Please, don’t tell anyone.”

Ignatz felt hurt by the request. He would never tell anyone. It should have gone without saying, however with everything that had occurred recently, he knew Ashe was just being careful. It was better to ask than assume. This was the new  Fódlan . Perhaps it was always  Fódlan and they were just older now. Ignatz nodded a yes.

“Catherine informed me that Christophe was manipulated into thinking that Lady Rhea was a threat to the Goddess. She explained that Christophe was only looking out for the best interests of everyone.”

It didn’t make sense to Ignatz to believe Lady Rhea was a threat to the Goddess. She practically was the Goddess in his eyes. He couldn’t put himself in Christophe’s shoes, being propositioned by the Western Church to kill the Archbishop and accepting it was beyond him. 

“How are you feeling about it?” asked Ignatz. The question was silly, but he needed to fill the air.

“I feel awful, but I don’t know. Catherine, I should…”

Ignatz could see the word stuck in his throat.

“Hate her,” said Ignatz. “You should hate her.” 

The sentence tasted sour in  Ignatz’s mouth. It was the word Ashe was searching for, but he was right not to say it out loud. It wasn’t like him.

“The problem is, I don’t,” said Ashe. “I don’t know. I should hate the church. They took both my father and my brother, but when I look at Lady Rhea…when I pray to the Goddess, there’s something there. A comfort. The Goddess hasn’t always been there for me, but when she has, I’ve been blessed.”

Ashe rested his head on  Ignatz’s shoulder.

Ignatz wasn’t sure what to tell Ashe. He knew better than to tell him everything was going to be okay. Ignatz was more than certain that it would not be. He prayed that it would be, but he wasn’t sure it was working. He thought strategically about his next move with Ashe. 

“I love you,” he said. It was as if the magic of the Goddess Tower was pulsing through his veins. With betrayal and murders coming from all sides, Ignatz felt it was time to say it. If anything were to happen from this point forward, Ashe had to know that Ignatz was completely in love with him.

Ashe accepted it only by kissing Ignatz deeply. The two collapsed on his bed.

Ignatz wasn’t expecting the same words to be said back. The kiss was confirmation enough that Ashe was happy with Ignatz telling him. If Ashe wasn’t ready to say it back that was fine, but for Ignatz, he needed to say it soon because who knew when his next chance would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I haven't been updating constantly because I've been planning and writing this out. I have around four-chapter already written and being reviewed so you can expect those coming out soon. That being said I see this story coming to close in around chapter 15, so keep your eyes out.
> 
> Once again I'd like to thank tarinumenesse for beta reading this. She's the best at making sure I don't look like a fool and spell fake fantasy words wrong!


	10. The Friendly Woman in Faerguhus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashe and Ignatz spend a peaceful moment together.  
> Ashe has interesting childhood friends.
> 
> Content Warning: This chapter includes reference to sex work, derogatory terms towards sex workers, and homophobia.

Love was a step that Ashe wasn’t ready to commit to. It was wonderful to hear Ignatz say it, but he still needed time. It had dawned on him that time wasn’t particularly on their side. Moments of peace were far and few in between. When he wasn’t out routing bandits with his professor, he was spending as much time with Ignatz as possible. For most of their free time together, Ashe was forced to stand still as possible posing with his bow and arrow. Ignatz refused to let him see the painting, although anyone who passed by was free to comment on it.

“He looks so handsome,” said Annette, who was enjoying a picnic with Lysithea near where Ignatz was painting. Two girls were sitting on a blanket with mostly cake in front of them. Ashe found it strange to see the two hardest working people in the school attempting to relax.

“I’m surprised at your level of detail; I didn’t think you paid that much attention to things. I mean you don’t pay attention to yourself. You’re always a mess,” said Lysithea, dabbing chocolate away from the corners of her mouth.

“Was that supposed to be a compliment?” asked Ignatz, raising an eyebrow.

Lysithea just smiled as a reply.

Ignatz sighed, then continued with his painting.

“How much longer?” asked Ashe. His nose was itchy, his arms hurt, and more importantly, he would rather be cuddled up next to his boyfriend. He didn’t realize that being painted was going to feel like such a chore.

“We can take a break now,” said Ignatz, putting his paint pallet on the ground. He quickly tossed a cloth over the painting to hide it from Ashe.

Ashe yawned as he was finally able to let his arms fall to his sides.

“Poor you, having to model!” Annette teased. “Would you boys care to join us?”

Ashe nodded. His eyes kept darting to piece of yellow cake with a ripe looking strawberry on top. He had to look away while posing to keep his mouth from watering.

Ignatz took a seat on the blanket while Ashe removed his amour. He had worked up a sweat just by wearing the thing. He placed his gear by  Ignatz’s easel and supplies. He touched the cloth over the canvas and lifted it just a tad.

He heard a loud cough behind him. He dropped the cover and turned to see Ignatz sitting with his legs and arms crossed. “Really, love?”

“Sorry,” said Ashe. “Curiosity killed the cat, but knowledge brought him back.” He took his place next to Ignatz, kissing him on the cheek. “Can I have the one with the strawberry?”

Annette handed him the slice. She reached into the picnic basket producing two teacups. “I brought extras.” She poured tea for Ignatz and Ashe from the pot resting on the center of the picnic blanket.

The fragrance was floral and airy. It wasn’t Ashe’s favorite, but it went perfectly with the cake. The rose flavor highlighted the soft hint of almond in the slice he was enjoying. It was lovely. Ignatz’s hand rested on top of Ashe’s. Everything was blissful. Ashe couldn’t recall the last time he had felt this at ease.

He noticed Annette blush as she looked at him. “What?” asked Ashe, with a slight giggle.

“Nothing,” said Annette. “You two, you just look so happy.”

Ashe looked from Annette to Ignatz, who was beaming. “We are, aren’t we?”

Ignatz brushed his lips over Ashe’s. “I believe so,” he said, pulling back from the kiss.

Lysithea’s face was as pink as her eyes. “Okay, that’s enough,” she said, returning her attention to her cake.

Everyone laughed. Even Lysithea, who wasn’t a fan of being made fun of, had to giggle to herself. For all her attempts at maturity, it was adorable to see her get embarrassed by their kiss. She reminded Ashe of Alessandra, who was twelve and bashful.

It was moments like this when they were free and enjoying themselves that he remembered how young he was. He didn’t realize how much he had aged in the almost-year he had been at  Garreg Mach. He had turned seventeen a few months ago. His sister and brother had sent him letters in the mail, asking if he could come home so they could celebrate with him. This was the first birthday he had spent apart from them. It was tough to write back to them explaining that it would be difficult for him to leave.

* * *

Alessandra and Archie had never known a life without him. They were two and three when their parents died. Archie couldn’t even recall their faces and although Alessandra claimed to have strong memory, she once had a hard time remembering their mother’s favorite song and broke down crying. For them, Ashe was the only constant in their life. The only person he trusted them with was a local madame who ran a brothel. At the time, Ashe didn’t know what the friendly young woman’s business was and he didn’t care. She doted on the kids as if they were her own and protected them while Ashe linked up with other local boys to break into houses. Ashe was the smallest one and most flexible, able to squeeze through any window.

It was how he found himself alone in Lonato’s mansion looking for valuables while the bigger boys were on the lookout. He was distracted by the books that lined the shelves. He was so mesmerized that he didn’t realize Lonato was in the room, Christophe behind him holding a sword.

“Sword down, Christophe! He’s just a boy.”

“But father, he’s a thief!” pleaded Christophe.

“Boy,” said Lonato to Ashe, who was frozen. “Why have you broken into my home?”

Ashe dropped the book he was holding and stumbled to pick it back up. “Sir, I’m sorry. I just need things to sell.”

“See father, he’s trying to rob us blind!” said Christophe.

“Hush son!” said  Lonato . “What is your reason for needing to sell things?”

“I’m an orphan, sir,” said Ashe. “I have two children who need food. I’m sorry. If you don’t tell anyone, I’ll just leave and I’ll never come back.”

Lonato sighed. Christophe had softened a bit at Ashe’s confession.  Lonato approached Ashe.

“No need to leave, child. Please, let us go find your siblings.”

Madame Isabelle’s charm was on high alert when Lord  Lonato walked in with Christophe and Ashe trailing behind him. 

“Lord  Lonato !” she greeted him, at the entrance of the inn. “My, my, I never expected a noble to walk in here, of course not in the open like this! A lot of your associates seek our services.” 

Madam Isabelle was a cunning and clever twenty-six-year-old who kept her red hair in a long braid. She was beautiful, but weathered from hard work. She had once told Ashe that she wished she could have been a thief, but the local gangs would never allow her to join.

At the time, Ashe assumed Madam Isabelle owned a small inn with no kitchen, where people took naps and played games with friends that worked there. Ashe’s favorite friend was an eighteen-year-old man named Devon from  Duscar . Devon was handsome and friendly. He had golden brown skin and was softer than most men, which must have been why he worked at a place full staffed with women. Devon and the rest of the friendly women at Madame Isabelle’s, and the boys he stole with, had been Ashe’s family for the past two years. 

Madam Isabelle was very suspicious when Lonato requested that she hand Alessandra and Archie over to him for adoption.

“Isabelle, I’m sure you could agree that the children would be much happier with a noble as a parent than…” Lord  Lonato trailed off at the end. Ashe could see him struggling to pick his words carefully.

Isabelle was fuming. “Say it  Lonato , a whore!”

It was a word Ashe had heard hurled at women who worked at the inn. For Devon, men preferred to yell sissy or fairy, even after they had just spent hours in his company. Ashe didn’t understand the words, but he knew from the tone that they were insults.

“Let’s just ask Ashe what he wants,” suggested Christophe.

Devon came out of his private room with coins. “Is everything he okay?” he asked. As the only man, besides Ashe who was just a boy, Devon sometimes had to protect the women when men became angry or violent.

“Lord Lonato has finally decided to grace our presence only to take away our children. You nobles!” spat Isabelle, laughing. She fearlessly walked right up to the Lord. “You think you can just waltz in here and have everything you want. Where were you two years ago when this boy was homeless, begging on the streets? You may not like our way of life. You might find it dishonest or even deviant, but this is all we have!”

“Madam Isabelle,” said Ashe. “Please.” The idea of never having to steal again or worry about food had piqued Ashe’s interest. On the walk there, Lonato had made promises of Ashe learning how to read and perhaps going to school. It all sounded pleasant. 

Isabelle looked heartbroken. She grabbed Ashe and held him tight. “I’m sorry that I can’t give you and the little ones a better life. I just…just…” She was having a hard time composing herself.

Devon approached Lonato and Christophe. Ashe noticed that Christophe hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of Devon since he walked into the room. He thought he saw Christophe catch his breath the moment the other young man came near him. Devon had that sort of effect on men. Ashe knew that sometimes, when he saw him in the right light, he made his heart race. He was only ten, but there was a closeness he felt with Devon.

“Can we have a moment in private with Ashe?” asked Devon.

The two nobles nodded and left the building. 

“Ashe, do you really want to go with those men?" asked Isabelle.

Ashe shook his head. “They seem like good people, Madam Isabelle. He caught me breaking into his home.”

“Where were the other boys?” she asked furiously. None of the local street children were Isabelle’s responsibility, but she looked after them all the same. She aspired the be the type of person she had needed when she was begging for scraps.

Ashe shrugged. “I think they ran off.”

“Those little bastards,” she said under her breath.

“Izzy,” said Devon calmly. “Focus on the subject at hand. Ashe says he wants to go. I think you should let him. It’s not like we actually have a say in this.”

Isabelle began to cry again. Ashe wrapped his arms around her. She wasn’t his mother. She did non-motherly things like drank and smoked. She didn’t have time to tuck him to bed or teach him to read, although Ashe suspected she barely knew how. She wasn’t a mother in a traditional sense, but for two years she had taken care of Ashe. She had loved him and it hurt to consider leaving her behind.

“I love you,” said Isabelle, with her tears staining Ashe’s already filthy shirt. It was the first time he had heard those words since his mother died, shortly after his father. They sounded so sweet.

Ashe squeezed her tight. “I love you too,” he said without hesitation. He meant it. He loved her like he loved his mother and father.

“You’ll be happy with  Lonato ,” said Isabelle, trying to convince herself more than Ashe.

“I know,” he said.

“Please never change,” she said, pulling herself together. “Stay my sweet boy forever. Please, don’t forget us. Don’t forget people like us. We’re not perfect. We’re not nobles. We do bad things Ashe, but we have our reasons. You had your reasons.”

Ashe nodded. Both her and Devon kissed him on the cheek. They woke up Alessandra and Archie. The three orphans were off to their new home and new life. 

Ashe never saw Madam Isabelle again. He saw Devon once more when he was twelve, right before Christophe left to go to  Garreg Mach. He had brought Christophe flowers and letters as a parting gift. Ashe was sure Devon and Christophe had interacted only one time, but perhaps he was wrong. The two men kept their interaction brief, but Ashe could sense their bound as he spied on them. There was something intimate about the whole ordeal that gave Ashe butterflies. It was a feeling Ashe wouldn’t understand again until he met Ignatz.

* * *

Ashe sometimes thought about his street family. He wondered if Isabelle and Devon were still operating the inn, which Christophe crudely explained to Ashe was brothel. He had promised Madam Isabelle that he would never change. In a lot of ways, he had kept that promise and in a lot of ways he hadn’t. He never forgot the people who cared for him, but he no longer felt like her sweet boy. Not after the things he’d been exposed to at the Officers Academy. The church had lied to him. Lonato had shut him out. Sometimes he wished he was back with his street family. Perhaps he would have never felt this hurt and confusion. However, he also would have never met Ignatz. A boy who made him feel so many things that numbed everything else.

After the picnic, Ashe and Ignatz made their way back to dorms. Ashe carried  Ignatz’s supplies while Ignatz cradled the portrait to his chest. Both boys were very tired and ready to sleep. They yawned in front of  Ignatz’s door. Ashe brushed his nose against  Ignatz’s .

“Good luck with the mission tomorrow,” said Ignatz with closed eyes.

“Thank you,” Ashe said. “I pray that we all come home in one piece and the same.”

“The same?” asked Ignatz. “Ashe, are you changing? Are your feelings changing?”

Ashe pressed his forehead against Ignatz. “My feelings are as strong as ever. I want them to just stay that way.”

Ignatz giggled. “I don’t know who’s planning on changing, but I can promise that I’ll still be the same when you return, even if you’re not.”

“Do you still love me? Even if I haven’t said it back?”

Ignatz kissed him deeply. “Yes,” he said, breaking away. “As I said, I won’t change.”

The boys said their goodbyes and Ashe returned to his room. He rested and thought about how lovely his day was.

In the end, it would not be Ashe that returned from the latest outing changed, but Professor Byleth. Their dear Professor was lost during the battle, almost murdered by Solon, when they re-emerged with glowing eyes and hair the color of the Goddess. Ashe was mesmerized. This transformation was the start of something bigger than any of them.

As they traveled back with their new and improved Professor, it dawned on Ashe that the day before could be his last peaceful moment with Ignatz for some time. Whatever was coming next could change everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys like OCs? Because I love OCs. Anyway, I had lot of fun building Ashe's street family in this chapter. I really like fleshing out the world with more backstory, even if FE3H is already pretty detail heavy.


	11. The Boy at War Part I

It started with Edelgard declaring war on the church. Ignatz didn’t know where it would end, but he knew that he had to protect the church no matter what. The year was almost over and instead of thinking about graduation and celebrations, they were preparing for an attack.  Garreg Mach had become a second home to Ignatz. He had learned so much about himself and fallen in love. He wasn’t going to hand it over. He was going to stay, fight, and protect it.

The Black Eagles were completely in the dark about their leader and her retainer Hubert’s plan to go against the church. Edelgard was now the Empress. Claude was already preparing for the possibility of the Empire going to war with the Alliance. Dimitri, on the other hand, was a shell of a person. When Edelgard was revealed as the Flame Emperor, a mysterious general who the Blue Lions had encountered various times in battle, Dimitri couldn’t contain himself. He had tried to murder Edelgard right then and there, but she had escaped. He believed Edelgard was behind the attack in  Duscur that had killed his parents. It was the same attack where Felix’s brother had died. The  Duscur where  Dedue was from. His family had been attacked because of the murder of the king and queen.

“Please go.”

Ashe looked tired. Ignatz’s shiny knight had a dull look in his eyes. He was barely getting any sleep. There was panic all around them. They were hiding away in Ignatz’s room, trying to find peace in the chaos around them. However, they could still hear the fast pacing and the slamming of doors from their classmates and professors. Even the place where they had first kissed, then made love , wasn’t sacred.

“Go where?” asked Ignatz. He placed his arms around his love, trying to focus all his energy on soothing away his worry. It didn’t seem to work as he felt Ashe’s body tense up in his embrace.

“Preferably home. Far away from here,” Ashe replied bluntly, pulling away from Ignatz.

“I’m not leaving,” said Ignatz. “I’m not leaving the church and I’m not leaving you.” He recalled the pain of not being able to protect Ashe at the mock battle. He wouldn’t fail to protect his church and his love.

Ashe responded by ignoring Ignatz. He walked over to Ignatz’s trunk and popped the lid open. Without saying anything, he began tossing Ignatz’s clothes and books in. He was carelessly packing away things, making a bold point.

Ignatz stared at him with his mouth open. He hurried to yank a sweater out of Ashe’s hand. 

“Stop!” he demanded as Ashe tugged. Ignatz pulled at the sweater. The sweater fell from Ashe’s hands as Ashe stumbled backward. He hit the floor hard.

“Ashe, oh Goddess, are you okay? I’m sorry,” said Ignatz. He tossed the sweater aside and bent down to help Ashe up. Ashe swatted him away. 

Ashe pulled himself up, but remained seated on the floor. “If you do love me, you’d leave.”

Ignatz sat on his knees next to him. Now face-to-face, he could see the lines around Ashe’s eyes. A thin scar on his neck from protecting The Holy Tomb. That was where Edelgard had revealed herself. Ashe came back from the mission frightened.

Ignatz reached out and traced the scar. “And risk not being here to protect you? Ashe, I can’t do that.”

He placed his hand on Ashe’s face. He looked into his eyes, searching for his sweetheart. He wasn’t gone , but he wasn’t there either.

“I’ve lost too many people, Ignatz. I cannot lose you.”

“And neither can I.” Ignatz sighed. “Why do you believe that I will perish and leave you alone?”

Ashe’s eyes began to water. “I do not believe that you will leave me alone. I believe that I won’t make it.”

Ignatz took Ashe’s hand. “You once said we could learn to be ready for war,” said Ignatz. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m ready to die. I’m not ready to let someone I care about die. Not again.” Ashe sat with his knees pressed to his chest, face buried. Soft, muffled cries poured out of him.

Ignatz sat behind Ashe. He wrapped his legs and arms around his crying boyfriend. He draped him like a tarp. His muse. His poor orphan boy. No matter what Ashe believed, Ignatz couldn’t leave. He needed to see this through to the very end.

“I can’t leave you,” he whispered into his hair. “I can’t run away. I’m sorry Ashe, but I’m staying here and fighting.” 

This year had changed Ignatz more than he thought. When he first arrived at the Garreg Mach , Ignatz had never considered he would want to die for it. If Ashe had told him to leave then he would have in heartbeat. But things were different now. He was different.

Ashe lifted his head. He rested it back against  Ignatz’s neck. Ignatz sat sturdy to support Ashe’s weight against him. He felt warm tears hit his clothes. He couldn’t see Ashe’s face from behind but knew he was crying.

“I hope you’re stronger than I think,” said Ashe.

“I know I am because I’ve met you.” Ignatz gave Ashe a kiss on the side of his soft cheek, tasting a bit of salt from his tears.

* * *

They were separated when the chaos began. Ashe and his class were out protecting the church, while the Golden Deer were scattered guarding various places. He was protecting the cathedral with Marianne and Hilda, with Knights among them.

Hilda stood leading the knights, more alert than she ever been. It was strange to see these capable knights taking orders from her. The bratty girl who couldn’t be bothered to return her library books on time was transformed into a leader before Ignatz’s eyes. If there was one thing Hilda could do, it was  tel ling others what to do. She had everyone perfectly positioned and ready.

Marianne was mumbling a soft prayer that Ignatz could slightly overhear. She wasn’t loud, but it was silent. She was praying for forgiveness and protection. Ignatz wondered if he should do that same. The bravery that filled him when he had argued with Ashe was fleeting. He felt a knot in his stomach. Should he have run? It was too late to think about that. He had made his choice and he was here, standing guard.

He was apart from Ashe. He wasn’t sure where his boyfriend was or if he was alive at this point. 

“What are you praying for?” he asked Marianne. He needed something to get his mind off the possibility that Ashe was dead.

She looked over at him, eyes big and full of desperation. “That the Goddess have mercy on Edelgard.”

“Are you praying for her to change her mind?” asked Ignatz. “That she put an end to this now?”

Marianne nodded softly. “Perhaps she’s cursed too, which is why this is happening.” Marianne was constantly living with a burden that Ignatz didn’t understand. She felt like she was cursed. Ignatz agreed with her, he felt like they were all cursed.

“Edelgard isn’t cursed. She’s selfish,” said Hilda coldly. She walked up to them after delegating to the knights. “I need you focusing on healing Marianne, you got that? Ignatz, focus on your surroundings. Where’s your head?”

“With Ashe,” he answered honestly. There no point in hiding anything from Hilda. She could always tell.

She nodded like she already knew his answer. “I need it to be here. In the cathedral.”

“Do you have a word if he’s okay?” asked Ignatz too quickly. There had been knights delivering messages to Hilda and the other generals about the conditions at the battle against Edelgard and her army. 

“No,” she said. “But we’ll never know if we don’t make it out of here ourselves.”

Ignatz felt a lump rise in his throat. This wasn’t even war and he already cracking under the pressure. He wished Ashe was there with him.

A knight stumbled into the cathedral slamming the door with a force. “Reinforcements are coming!” he shouted.

Ignatz couldn’t catch his breath. He heard the rumble of thousands of footsteps making their way towards the cathedral. He wasn’t ready, but he didn’t have a choice.


	12. The Boy at War Part II

“Hold still,” said Mercedes as she held her hand over the wound on Ashe’s chest. He had been attacked by a dark mage. He'd been hit with light magic and sliced by swords before, but dark magic was something different. It was a different type of pain. He was more than sure he was going to die. It would be a lot easier if he just did.

He felt his body relax as Mercedes’s spell pulsed through him. He looked across the battleground. Everything was cloudy from his watery eyes, but he clutched his bow and began to rise. He had to keep fighting. He winced in pain as he sat up.

“Careful,” said Mercedes. Although there were flames and dying soldiers around them, she remained as calm as always. She was a living saint, giving them aid.

Ashe took a breath. He carefully pulled himself from the ground and looked around. It seemed like the battle was over. Dimitri had confronted Edelgard, but it was no use. She had called for reinforcements. This was all distraction.

In the midday sun, thousands of Imperial soldiers surrounded them and the monastery. None of Garreg Mach was safe, including the cathedral that Ignatz was guarding. Ashe’s mission had instantly changed. He had to make it to the cathedral. Damn saving the monastery. He needed only to protect one person, if he could.

“Professor?” he heard Ingrid cry out. “Where are they?” she asked someone else.

Ashe could hear the cries of young voices fill the air. He turned to see students fleeing towards the grounds, being directed by Professor Byleth. He searched their faces for Ignatz, but he knew was probably inside, fighting the reinforcements.

A giant shadow passed over him. He looked up to see a giant white dragon. He had no idea where the beast had come from, but it seemed focused, almost intelligent. It made its way over to the Imperial army, attacking everything in its path. He watched as the dragon battled the army and their demonic beast. The dragon took every single one of them out.

“The field is clear, let’s head back to the monastery,” shouted Claude to everyone. “There could still be soldiers there, so we should stay alert.”

Ashe found that all of his classmates had somehow made it alive. He and Mercedes rejoined them as they headed towards the monastery. They all seem to be following Claude’s lead now, including Dimitri, who was lost in his head.

“I have my housemates guarding various places,” said Claude. “Let’s split up and check on them.”

“I’m going to the cathedral,” said Ashe rather quickly. Ignatz was his priority now.

Annette looked around. “I don’t see the Professor anywhere?”

“Teach is safe somewhere,” said Claude. “We’ll look for them later, we need to regroup. All of us,” he said, pointedly looking at Dimitri. “Ashe, you can head to the cathedral. Felix, go with him. Ingrid, Sylvain, you two take the knights hall. Annette and Mercedes, I need the two of you to heal anyone you can, okay? Prioritize the civilians who got caught up in this mess.”

It was a plan. They headed out towards the cathedral. It was in ruins. A giant pile of rubble sat in the center of the room. Felix immediately connected with Hilda, who was checking on knights, not a scratch on her. Ashe’s eyes scanned the room. He spotted Ignatz on the ground in the corner, getting healed by Marianne. His heart raced and jogged over to him.

Ignatz’s eyes flickered open. “Ashe,” he said weakly, wincing as he tried to pull himself up.

Ashe leaned down to him. “Relax, I’m here.” There was blood pouring from Ignatz’s chest. The blood-soaked the ribbon that held the grounding charm Ashe had given him. The metallic smell made Ashe want to vomit. He was familiar with the scent by now, but that didn’t mean he was used to it.

Marianne continued to work. Just like with Ashe and Mercedes, the wound slowly closed up.

“What happened?” Ashe asked.

“There was an army. We fought them off. However, they quickly retreated. Ignatz got stabbed.” She worked a lot more frantically than Mercedes. She wasn’t as sure of her skill.

Ashe reached into his supply bag and pulled out a vial of Vulnerary. Using his teeth, he pulled the cap off and poured it into Ignatz’s mouth. Once it was all swallowed, he brushed his lips against Igantz’s sweat-drenched forehead.

“Next time I tell you to leave, you to listen to me,” he softly said into Ignatz’s hair.

“Will there be a next time?” asked Marianne meekly. Ashe would say she sounded on edge, but that was normal for Marianne.

“Edelgard, she escaped,” he informed her. “It’s not ending here.”

“May the Goddess be with us.” She traced her hands over Ignatz's chest wound. It was a pink scar.

Ashe smiled.

“What are you smiling for?” asked Ignatz still in a haze.

Ashe pulled down his tunic to reveal the scar left behind from the wound Mercedes healed. “We match.

* * *

There was no sign of the Professor or Archbishop Lady Rhea anywhere. Dedue and Catherine lead a team of knights to search for them. Many of the students were sent home. Those whose journeys were further than the outskirts of Garreg Mach were to leave in the morning. Arrangements were being made for groups to go.

Ashe had finished packing up his belongings. He was in Ignatz’s room with candles lit, helping him pack away his things. He was realizing how much he was going to miss this bedroom. He felt himself getting sentimental over the small things, like the paint that Ignatz had spilled on the floor or the scuffs left on his desk when they both tossed bows on top of it. He would miss the bed most of all. He would miss waking up next to Ignatz.

The time constraints on their relationship were an unspoken truth. They had always known it would have to end. They had just tried to enjoy every moment together for as long as they could. The inevitable was upon them. In the morning they would go their separate ways.

They could meet again, but it was not likely.

After helping Ignatz fold his clothes into the trunk, Ashe walked over to the canvas in the corner, draped in cloth. His curiosity peaked as he lifted the cloth.

“Ashe!” exclaimed Ignatz.

Ashe dropped it, his face hot. “Uh, sorry. It’s just that I didn’t think it would ever be finished and I would like to see if before…”

Ignatz took Ashe’s hand. “I understand. I’m going to finish it.”

“How? I can’t model for you if I’m in Faerghus.”

Ignatz pulled Ashe to him. With his free hand, he lightly touched Ashe’s face. His fingers felt nice as they delicately fluttered across Ashe’s eyelids to his nose and stroked his chin. “From my memory. I’ll draw and paint you every day so I never forgot what you look like.”

Ashe smiled. “Will I ever see it?”

Ignatz smiled and rested his hand on Ashe’s shoulder. “I don’t know, but if you do, it’ll be finished.”

They rested on Ignatz's bed one last time.

“You know it’s completely unfair that you get to keep the portrait of me and I have nothing to remember you by?” said Ashe.

Ignatz sighed. He got out of bed and went through his trunk, pulling out a small mirror and his sketchbook. Ashe watched him examine his features in the candlelight. He took a piece of coal and began to sketch, pausing every few seconds to look at himself deeper. Ashe never got tired of seeing Ignatz so focused on his craft. Time passed before Ignatz set the coal, now nothing more than a nub, down. He ripped the paper from the sketchbook and handed it to Ashe.

Ashe smiled at the small image. It was a self-portrait of his love.

“I’m missing you already.”

It was all Ashe could say. He rested the portrait of Ignatz over his heart, near his new scar, while his actual Ignatz settled back down next to him. Tomorrow they would say goodbye, but tonight they would enjoy every last second together


	13. Those Left at Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been five years. Ignatz has a heart-to-heart with those he loves the most before embarking one another battle.

The time spent at home with his family was never enough. Every time Ignatz made it back home from a mission, he savored every moment of being there. He wouldn’t complain about having to work or help around the house. After nothing but bland food, he even found himself loving his mother’s cooking, which he had always considered average. 

But the best part of being home wasn’t the food or even the comfort, but spending time with his adorable niece. Juliette was nothing but a little bundle in Maya’s arms, and Ignatz adored her.

While Ignatz was busy keeping his relationship a secret, so was his brother. During Ignatz and Raphael’s time away, Maya and Oliver had formed a friendship. That friendship had turned into a romance. The two had married before the war started. Raphael wasn’t happy about his baby sister getting married so soon, but he couldn’t deny that Oliver was a good man and his sister was safe.

The young couple had moved into a small shack of a home behind the Victors' house that was complete with a kitchenette. Juliette had been born only a few months ago and Ignatz couldn’t get enough of the tiny baby. When home, he found himself spending more time with Juliette than any other member of his family.

“So, you and Raphael are leaving us again?”

Maya looked tired as she placed a crying Juliette on her for feeding. Her hair had lost its luster and she sported wrinkles and dark circles around her eyes. Ignatz wasn’t sure if it was living during a war or being a mother that had aged her.

“They’re sending us to  Gronder Field,” said Ignatz. “Both the Empire and Kingdom are said to have armies heading there as well.”

He took a sip of the tea Maya had served him. The leaves were bitter and cheap because the war didn’t allow luxuries. He could imagine Lorenz complaining about it, but he tried not to think about him much since his family had sided with the empire.

“Are you afraid?” she asked.

“Very, but duties are what they are.”

Maya was staring down into her cup of tea. She seemed to be lost in thought.

“Something on your mind?” he asked.  Ignatz had concluded that his relationship with Maya was always going to be complicated, although they had found a rhythm during the past few years. It was polite and casual when he had first learned about her relationship with Oliver. Ignatz hadn’t minded because he was still hopelessly in love with Ashe. After Juliette was born, their friendship felt mended.

Maya offed him a weak smile before turning her gaze to her tea. She bit her lip.

“Will you ever tell me what it was?” she asked softly. She was trying not to cry. “I was in love with you, Ignatz, and you completely shut me out. I might have fallen in love with Oliver, but it still hurts.”

Ignatz stayed quiet. 

“Was it another girl?” she asked desperately. “You were already distant from me before you left for the academy. I just want to know. You were my first kiss.”

“You were mine also.” Ignatz felt his heart racing. He had always loved Maya, first a friend,  then as more. He loved her now as his sister-in-law and the mother of his niece. It was different than before, but he still loved her. “It wasn’t another girl. I kept my distance because of something that isn’t important anymore. I’m sorry about that.”

Maya took a deep breath. “Raphael told me about your guilt. You have to know by now that wasn’t your family’s fault, even if it was your parents have more than made up for it.” She gestured to everything around her. “But you knew that already because if you still felt guilty, you wouldn’t be here right now.”

“I might have found someone else, at the academy. But it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“You said it wasn’t a girl?” Maya was confused.

“Because it’s a boy, well, it was a boy.”

“Oh,” she said, surprised. “Raphael, he never said anything.”

“I told him to keep it a secret,” he explained. “We had a moment and now I have no idea where he is or even if he’s alive.”

“You loved him?” she asked. 

Ignatz could hear the heartbreak in her question. He was having trouble wondering if her heart broke for herself or him.

He nodded, feeling himself choking up. He loved and missed Ashe every day. He removed his glasses and laid his head in his hands.

Still cradling the suckling baby, Maya moved to comfort him. She placed her free hand on Ignatz’s head and stroked his hair. Ignatz felt himself become calmer by her touch. Maya had always had this gentle touch. Ignatz didn’t know what he did to deserve kind, forgiving people like Raphael and Maya in his life, but he was grateful for them. The goddess hadn’t blessed the Kristens with much, but she had given them the biggest hearts.

He looked up with his tear-stained face red and puffy. “Maya, I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you. For how I treated your brother. For how I treated my brother even. It was just always better to push people away than face them.”

Maya rested a hand on his cheek.

They heard the door creek opened up. It was Oliver and Raphael returning home from fishing.

“Does he know?” asked Maya.

Ignatz shook his head. “Neither do my parents.”

“Just so you know, Oliver loves you. Nothing you can tell him will ever change that.”

Ignatz nodded. She was right.

“Did you tell him about us?” he asked.

Maya smiled. She coyly responded, “Perhaps we should keep that one to ourselves.”

It made Ignatz laugh.

Oliver made his way over to Maya. He kissed his wife. “How are my two girls doing?” he asked.

“Wonderful,” said Maya, removing Juliette from her breast. She slipped herself back into her dress. “This baby is a Kristen alright. This is her fourth feeding today.”

“That’s my baby!” exclaimed Raphael. He cleared his throat and turned to Ignatz. “We should head to bed early. We have to leave before dawn.” 

During their time at home, Raphael would occupy Oliver’s childhood room back at home with Ignatz’s parents.

“Right,” said Ignatz. “You can head home. I’ll be there in a moment. I just need to talk to Oliver before I go.”

Oliver looked at Ignatz with worry in his eyes. Raphael just nodded and said his goodbyes.

“Be safe tomorrow,” said Maya, holding tightly to her big brother. Her eyes always got misty when she had to tell Raphael goodbye. After he left, she excused herself to the bedroom, leaving Ignatz and Oliver alone.

“So, we needed to talk?” asked Oliver, pouring himself a cup of tea. He sat down next to Ignatz.

Ignatz cleared his throat. “I wanted to apologize for how I treated you.”

“How you treated me?”

Ignatz sighed. “Oliver, I was upset with you when I left for the Officer’s Academy. I never expressed it or said out loud, but I was angry that you got to stay home and I had to become a knight.”

“I see.” Oliver stoked his beard, a habit he had picked up when he was deep in thought. His brother looked so much like him and yet much more mature. He was strong-jawed and rugged compared to Ignatz, who, despite all his muscles from years of war, was still childish in comparison. “I understand, and forgive you.”

Ignatz was again confused and relieved by the kindness of those around him. “You do?”

Oliver chuckled. “You know Iggy, if you had ever bothered to talk to me, I would have told you that I was jealous of you.”

Ignatz scoffed. Was Oliver joking with him?

“What do you mean, jealous of me?”

“Do you remember when we were kids and that lord from Faerghus passed through town?”

Ignatz racked his brain. The memory was faint, but he could recall it. If he thought about that day, the only thing that came to his mind was the green eyes of the boy who stole from them and nothing more. 

“I remember Father and mother making a fuss over some Lord coming in. I was trying to draw.”

“His oldest son was going to The Officer’s Academy to become a knight. I talked to him for a moment and he let me hold his sword. I thought he was the coolest person ever. Anyway, when Mother and Father told me they were sending you to  Garreg Mach, I was secretly fuming because becoming a knight had sort of been my dream.”

“You never told me!” said Ignatz.

“You never asked!” replied his brother.

“All this time I thought you wanted to be a merchant. You were always helping our parents out and you loved talking to people.”

Oliver laughed. “I was just being a good son. Now, I love it because if I was a knight, I wouldn’t have time to be home with Maya and Jules. They’re more important.”

Ignatz had never thought much about his older brother’s life. He had spent so much of his life daydreaming that he hadn’t paid much attention to those around him. Oliver was dedicated and noble. Qualities that made a fine knight. They were also qualities that made an excellent husband and father, which he was proving himself to be every day.

“I’ve learned to love my life, Ignatz, and I hope you learn to love yours.” 

Oliver leaned over and ruffled his hair. 

Ignatz sighed. “There was one more thing that I wanted to tell you.”

“Oh really?” asked Oliver, raising an eyebrow.

Ignatz took a deep breath. “When I was at the  academy I started a relationship. It was with another student…a boy.”

Ignatz was having a hard time keeping himself together. He closed his eyes. He couldn’t believe he was telling this to his brother. 

“And?” asked Oliver.

Ignatz felt his stomach sink. He opened up his eyes. Oliver was sitting in the same position as beforehand with a smile on his face.

“And?” he repeated.

“Yeah, like what else?”

“Uh, that was most of it. I had a boyfriend,” said Ignatz.

Oliver chuckled. “Did you expect me to be surprised?”

Ignatz was confused. “A little bit, I suppose.”

Oliver got up from his seat. “Ignatz, I need to show you something,” he said, making his way over to the desk that sat in the corner of the room. It was covered in various papers and books. Ignatz concluded that most of them were for Oliver’s work. Oliver fumbled around until, underneath a pile, he found an old sketchbook that was bent and worn. It had belonged to Ignatz when he was a kid. Oliver flipped a few pages and then handed it to his younger brother.

The page he turned to was a sketch of a soft-looking boy with stars across his face. Ignatz flipped the page to see another drawing of the same boy, only this time he was trying to draw his eyes as realistically as possible. Ignatz could remember trying his best to draw the boy from memory. Looking at the face on the page now, Ignatz realized that the same one that he had been obsessed with drawing as a kid was the  one, he would find himself staring at every day five years ago.

“This boy was with the nobleman. I think he was also his son, but he didn’t look like him. Anyway, you didn’t even say a word to him and you were completely smitten. You almost fainted when he locked eyes with you. After that, you were always drawing him.”

With a self-satisfied smug Oliver sipped his tea.

Ignatz traced the lines of the sketched boy's face. “I was smitten with him. I actually met him again.” Ignatz looked up at his brother. “His name is Ashe and we fell in love.”

He had always known that Ashe had caught his eye before. Here in his hands was proof of what he knew to be true. The boy, the thief, the green eyes that he constantly thought about belonged to Ashe. It was Ashe. It was always Ashe.


	14. The Man on the Battlefield

The journey to  Gronder Field had been stressful. Since they had found Dimitri and the Professor at  Garreg Mach, Ashe and his former classmates had been walking on eggshells around the King. Ashe had never given up hope that Dimitri had escaped death, but this person leading them to war was not Dimitri. He was terrifying. Felix had used to warn them all that there was a darkness that lurked inside their beloved House leader, but  they’d refused to believe it.

However, Professor  Byleth was by their side to protect them. When they had asked  Byleth where  they’d been all this time, the professor had simply said they were sleeping. It was a strange response, but everyone was too exhausted to argue it. The answer was comforting to Ashe. Five years of change, but, like always, professor  Byleth was the same.

He walked behind Annette and Mercedes. The two girls were holding hands. Ashe  wasn’t sure when, but Annette had finally confessed her feelings for her best friend and they were now together. It  wasn’t smart to fall in love during the war, but facing death every day was better when you had someone with you. All Ashe had to hold on to at night was a piece of paper that he kept with him at every moment.

He  hadn’t told Ignatz that he loved him before they parted. These five years apart had put a lot into perspective for Ashe. The most important thing he learned that he was in love with Ignatz. If he ever laid eyes on him again, he would confess in a heartbeat.

They followed their leader to  Gronder Field as he mumbled to himself,  Byleth trailing close behind him. 

Ashe’s mind went back to the mock  battle, when he had first visited the  Adrestian empire. He thought about the night afterwards. The clumsy movements of him and Ignatz becoming one. Ignatz was Ashe’s first and, if the war had its way, he would be his last. Five years ago, everything at  Gronder Field was for fun, but now it was real. Ashe’s stomach churned.

Ashe prayed that Ignatz was safe every night. He  hadn’t seen him in five years, but he hoped that his beloved had decided to stay out of the war. Ignatz had once told Ashe that nobody was made for war. Ashe now believed it. Even the one-eyed beast of a Prince who was leading them to battle  wasn’t made for  war.

Dimitri was someone Ashe looked up to a great deal. Back in the academy days, it had meant everything when he paid attention to Ashe. Dimitri was lost, but Ashe stood by his side. Ashe and the others wanted to find their Prince. The real Dimitri was there somewhere.

They made it to  Gronder Field. Ashe noticed bright red flags from The Imperial Army. He could  squint and make out Edelgard, a small ghost-like figure in an elaborate  headdress . Her retainer Hubert, leading a group close by. There were mystical beasts among them. Ashe felt sorry for the creatures. They were victims, like the rest of them.

“Over there,” said Felix, pointing towards the rocky side of the field.

Golden flags flew in the air. Claude hovered over the ground on a Wyvern. Next to him was Lysithea and Leonie, who was on a horse. There were several knights among them. Ashe found himself desperately looking through the faces for signs of glasses and green hair. He was distracted by a giant declaration of vengeance from Dimitri. If Ignatz was among the Alliance knights, Ashe prayed he would not cross paths with the Prince.

The attacks came in swiftly.

Bernadette, the shy shut-in, was firing arrow after arrow at both Alliance and Kingdom. Mercedes had to be quick with her healing. Dimitri was able to single-handedly tackle a beast. He was fighting his way to Hubert,  Dedue close behind. Professor  Byleth and Felix somehow got mixed up fighting back against Alliance. Claude  couldn’t believe that  Byleth was alive.

Ashe was doing his best to hold on. He stood close to Annette and Felix, trying his best to attack the imperial mages and any fliers from a distance.

After clearing the path for Felix to lead his  gambit , Ashe was exhausted. A soldier knocked him down and Ashe’s head hit against a boulder on the field. He saw stars as his body began to feel cold. He could smell and feel warm blood spilling from him. He could feel himself giving up.

Annette hurried to his side. She blasted the solider that attacked Ashe before bending down to heal him. With eyes fluttering, he thought he could make out a shape of a man coming towards him.

“Ashe! Goddess!”

The voice sounded familiar, but Ashe was too weak to remember it. He closed his eyes and everything went dark.

***

Energy pulsed through Ashe’s body. He jolted awake. His eyes met a blurry Annette on her knees, sobbing. Next to her was a man that Ashe  couldn’t make out. The man stepped closer, green hair came into Ashe’s vision. He caught his breath.

“He’s awake!” said the familiar voice.

Ashe’s hands clutched the grass beneath him. The sounds of metal clashing and screaming came from a distance. He realized that he was out of harm's way. He looked at his two saviors and reached out a hand. 

The man took it. Ashe felt the  calloused palm. He recalled the hand once being soft to the touch. His sweet Ignatz was different, but the same. Hair shorter and he was more muscular, but he was undeniably the boy from the sketch that Ashe held close to himself every night. No longer a boy, but now man.

“Ignatz.”

It was the only thing Ashe had the energy to say.

“It’s me, love.” Ignatz stroked Ashe’s cheek with his free hand.

Annette came closer. She pulled out an elixir from her supplies. She opened it and poured it into Ashe’s mouth. The herbal blend tasted bitter on Ashe’s tongue, but  he’d be foolish to spit it out and gag. He felt the mixture working as soon as slipped down his throat.

Ashe’s vision cleared up. He regained the energy to move. He signaled for Ignatz and Annette to give him some space. His friends complied and got off the ground. Ashe took a breath as he pulled himself up, and dusted dirt and leaves off his body. He touched the back of his head, where a wound was still healing, the hair around it  caked in blood and dirt.

“Ignatz saw you get hit. You cracked your head open,” explained Annette, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Mercie had her hands full. Ignatz helped carry you away from the battle while I healed you.” Annette hugged Ashe tightly. “Ashe, you almost…”

“It’s okay,” said Ashe, out of breath. “I didn’t. I’m okay.”

Annette let go of him and wiped her eyes. She was covered in ash and smelled of smoke from the magic attacks she had been using on the field. Her red hair was sticking out everywhere. Ashe wondered how far they had  ran from the battleground. He noticed that the area was some sort of wood. He hoped nobody would find them.

He  couldn’t worry about that now. Without thinking, he reached out to his former love and held him tightly . 

“Ignatz, I love you!” said Ashe, making good on the promise he made to himself. His heart raced as the words left his mouth. He  didn’t know if it was the  close call with death or the reunion, but he felt like crying.

Ignatz kissed Ashe on the cheek gently. “I love you too.”

He stroked Ashe’s cheek, rubbing his thumb over a scar Ashe got weeks ago. 

“You’re still so beautiful…” he said.

The two men were so captivated by each other that they  didn’t hear the footsteps approaching them. A  frazzled Annette stepped in front of them, with her hands up, prepared to defend them.

Two men appeared from out of the woods prepared to fight, but  immediately gasped when their eyes met the group.

“Ashe!” said a man with blue hair.

Caspar had grown tremulously over the years. Next to him was Linhardt, as empathic as ever. 

“We were ordered to search the grounds for possible reinforcements,” he explained, yawning.

Caspar took a deep breath. “What the hell are you guys doing here? Edel—The Empress gave us strict order to take out anyone hiding in the woods,” he said, sounding conflicted.

“Ashe almost died out there. Caspar, have some compassion and let us go,” demanded Ignatz, stepping away from Ashe.

Ignatz seemed bolder than Ashe remembered. If he  wasn’t so terrified of being killed by his old friend,  he’d find it all  very attractive .

“I can’t do that,” said Caspar.

Linhardt sighed. “Caspar,” he whispered, tugging him away from the group. “We took this job because I didn’t want to see any combat. These were our friends. You were practically in love with Ashe back at the ac—”

“Shut up!” shouted Caspar. His face was bright red. Ashe  didn’t know if it was from embarrassment or frustration.

“Keep your voice down,” said Annette sharply. She was prepared to fight the two if it meant saving them. She needed to get back to Mercedes on the battlefield.

“We’re in your territory, Caspar,” said Ashe. “You have some power in this. Please let us go. Let your friends go.”

He  wasn’t sure if begging would help, but he would do anything to not fight one of his best friends. He hoped that the short boy who was afraid of lightning and helped him find the perfect gift for Ignatz was still there.

“He’s right,” said Linhardt. “I don’t want to fight and we can just let them go free.”

Ashe noticed that there was something between Linhardt and Caspar that he  couldn’t pinpoint. All he knew was that it  wasn’t warmth between them anymore. Ashe felt sorry for them, even if Caspar was conflicted about murdering him.

Caspar pinched the bridge of his nose and turned around.

“Fine, I’m counting to ten and if you’re not gone by—”

It was their out. Ashe grabbed Ignatz's hand and they ran deeper into the forest, away from Caspar and Linhardt. It was frightening having to run away from his friends. He thought a lot about Caspar and how much they got along despite their differences. He wished they could just talk.

Annette retrieved a compass and map from her supply bag. She navigated them to secret camp the Kingdom’s army had set up nearby. Ignatz and Ashe followed her closely in silence. Although Ashe wanted to say more, it  wasn’t safe with Caspar and Linhardt still out there.

“Thank the Goddess,” said Annette as they approached the camp. All their classmates were there already.

Mercedes working was healing  Dedue when she looked up and made locked eyes with Annette. 

“Annie!” she cried. She quickly  finished up with  Dedue and ran to embrace her girlfriend. “Are you okay?” she asked, cupping her face with both hands.

“I’m fine. We had to save Ashe,” she said.

“We?” asked Mercedes. She looked behind Annette to Ashe and Ignatz. “Ignatz, oh sweetheart. It’s good to see you!”

“It’s wonderful to see you too Mercedes,” replied Ignatz, giving her a little space.

Sylvain and Ingrid rushed into the camp with  important information .

“It’s Lord Rodrigue,” announced Ingrid. She was fighting back tears. “Dimitri, he’s not doing well.”

“I need to go, Claude is probably looking for me,” whispered Ignatz to Ashe.

Ashe  wasn’t ready to lose Ignatz again. “Do you know where they are? I can walk with you.” 

Ignatz nodded. “I looked at the map, we’re not that far. I can handle it. Your army needs you.”

Ashe sighed. “But I need you.” 

He pressed a kiss to his lips. He did his best to  savor the familiar feeling.

Ignatz pulled away from the kiss and cupped Ashe’s face. “You have no idea how much I need you as well. My love, I’ve missed you so much.”

“Stay.”

“I can’t. You know I  can’t , but  I’m different now, Ashe. Different in  a good way . Stay safe. After the war is settled, we’ll meet each other again.”

The new, confident Ignatz made Ashe feel weak. Even with all the terrible circumstances around them something about Ignatz’s positivity made Ashe smile. 

“What makes you so sure?” he asked.

Ignatz smiled. He reached into the pocket of his trousers and pulled out a small piece of paper. Ignatz carefully unfolded the paper. He showed it to Ashe.

“It’s you. Well, it was you. When you were a child.  I’ve always felt like  I’d met you before. The truth was I saw you once and I fell in love. Of course, I was  really young so I  didn’t know, but I do now.”

Ashe’s eyes  couldn’t believe it. His small child's face was sketched in coal. It  wasn’t as detailed as the portrait of Ignatz he carried, but it was beautiful. Ignatz was truly  a great artist .

“We’ve met before, we met at the Academy, we met here today. Ashe, I’m confident that after the war we’ll meet again.”

Ashe smiled. “Can the next time be the last?”

“I want only that.”


	15. The Knight in the Painting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignatz and his mother have a heart-to-heart.

The war was over. Claude had disbanded the army and surrendered the Alliance territory to the Kingdom. The Duke had left with his longtime lover Petra. Where to, Ignatz hadn’t a single clue, but he was sure they would do great things. The Kingdom had defeated the Empire and now, Ignatz was at home waiting.

There was nothing more he could do but wait. He spent his days helping his mother and father around the house. In the evening, he visited local taverns with Oliver and Raphael. On the weekends, when the weather was good, he painted outside or even went on picnics with Maya and Juliette. It was a lovely time, but his heart yearned for Ashe all the while.

They said they’d meet again, but it had been almost a year. The Kingdom was back in order. Ignatz had written to Ashe several times, but a response never came. In the new unified Fódlan, he would have heard if something had happened to Ashe in battle. He was more than sure he was alive and hoped that he would hear from him soon. Was it foolish to keep his hopes up? He tried not to question it, because right now hope was all he had.

Ignatz entered his bedroom to find his mother staring at the portrait that he kept in the corner. He had promised Ashe that he would see the finished painting someday, but he hadn’t touched it in so long. It sat in the corner of his room with a cloth over it, collecting dust.

“I was tidying up,” explained his mother. She looked over at him. “It’s beautiful. A silver-haired knight. I’ve always loved your vivid imagination.”

“It’s not done,” commented Ignatz. He took a seat next to his mother and took her hand in his. “I started it forever ago.”

“I recall you bringing it when you came home from the Academy. It was the only thing you didn’t let any of us touch. This cloth around it was filthy. The dust can’t be good, my love.” Ignatz noticed that the cloth now sat at her feet. “I was going to wash it, but then I just got distracted. I never get moments alone anymore to think.”

Ignatz could agree with her. The Victor household was now a lively place. It almost felt like a different home than the one Ignatz had grown up in. The formerly cold and serious family had transformed thanks to Maya, Raphael, and of course Juliette. The Kirstens felt like missing pieces. It was now home full of lively conversation and debate. Most recently, there was lots of planning because Oliver and Raphael were opening an inn. It was hard to think over all the conversations.

That day Oliver, Raphael, and Mr. Victor were out constructing the inn. Maya and Juliette were at their home, most likely resting. The quietness felt foreign to Ignatz and his mother.

“What were you thinking about?” asked Ignatz.

“I’m thinking about how your father and I were wrong,” she replied.

“About what?” Ignatz asked. He felt so worried about their parents in their older age.

His mother sighed and looked at him. “My sweet boy,” she mumbled to herself. “I feel like we wasted you by sending you away.”

“Mother, it’s okay.”

If his mother had said this to him six years  ago he would have agreed, but the past was the past now. He got to leave home and see the world. He had made it out alive. The worst was over and there was nothing he regretted.

She placed a kiss on his forehead. “You were my sweetest baby. You loved the most beautiful things and I’m sorry that you had to see such an ugly world.”

Ignatz rested his head against his mothers. “It wasn’t all ugly. There were some beautiful places and people. I saw him.”

Even after his talk to Oliver, Ignatz still hadn’t worked up the courage to tell his parents about Ashe. There was no time like the present.

“Were you friends?” asked his mother with a smile on her face.

Ignatz sat back up adjusting his glasses. “The best of…and, well, more .” 

His mother placed a hand over her heart. She looked wounded by the revelation. Tears rolled down her face.

Ignatz felt himself panic. His parents were not sensitive people. Had he broken his mother’s heart by simply falling in love with another man? It was his worst fear.

Unsure of what he was doing, Ignatz let go of his mother’s hand.

“I’m sorry,” he began apologizing.

“No, no, my dear.” His mother removed her glasses and wiped her eyes. “I’m not crying, because you found…a friend? A relationship? I’m sad because your father and I have failed to make you feel comfortable telling us about your life.”

His mother and father were practical people with practical dreams. They only ever wanted good things for Ignatz and Oliver. As far as he was concerned, they were good parents.

“I love you,” he said. He could feel himself choking up. “I love dad, I love Oliver. I’m so happy that you two were my parents and I’m sorry I hid things from you. I was just always worried about not being good enough.”

“My son,” his mother started. “You were always good enough. I’m sorry that we put so much pressure on you. You didn’t have to become a knight. You could have traveled the world and became a painter. It was selfish of us to expect that of you. You’re our loving, sweet son. You shouldn’t have seen war. It’s our fault.”

“Does dad feel the same way?”

“Indeed,” she said dryly. “He’s a proud man. Don’t expect him to admit it, but he worried about you every moment you were gone.”

It was hard for Ignatz to imagine his stern, serious father worried about him, but the look in his mother’s eyes told him it was true. Ignatz felt sad for not giving his parents more credit. He had always seen them as dry and dull. Growing up he wished they were lively and creative, instead of being practical merchants. It was only as an adult that he realized their practical lifestyle was what kept Ignatz swimming in expensive art supplies and kept food on the table through war. He no longer saw his parents as dry and dull, but responsible and respectable.

He hugged his mother. “You two are great parents. I’m not that great a son.”

“You’re an excellent son. Maybe you could help out around the house a bit more, but you’re wonderful nonetheless.” His mother dried her eyes.

Ignatz smiled at her. “How about I start with making us some tea?”

His mother laughed. “I’d love that.”

Ignatz walked into the kitchen and began lighting a fire on the stove. He was filling the kettle with water when he heard a knock at the door. He figured it was a neighbor and didn’t think much of it when his mother left to answer it.

“Hello, is this the Victor residence?” a familiar voice asked.

“It is. Give me a moment,” his mother said, sounding out of breath. “Ignatz, I think you’re needed, dear.”

Ignatz had no clue who could be looking for him at this time of day. The only people he talked to in town were his family. He placed the kettle on the stove and walked over to his mother.

Standing in the doorway next to his mother was Ashe, the afternoon sun behind him like a glowing halo. Ignatz’s heart fluttered. It was like all those years ago when they met at the academy.

“Hello,” was all Ignatz could manage to say. He was stunned.

“Hi,” replied Ashe.

Ignatz noticed the smile on his mother’s face as she looked between two boys. 

“Sweetheart, make your friend feel welcome,” she said. “I’ll finish up the tea.”

With that, she left for the kitchen.

“Would you like to come in?” asked Ignatz. The question felt silly because of course Ashe wouldn’t want to just stand there. He was so flustered. He couldn’t believe that Ashe was there.

“Thank you, I’d love to.” He stepped into the house. Ignatz closed the door behind them.

When they saw each other a year ago, Ignatz hadn’t been able to properly take in Ashe. Now, it was difficult for Ignatz to catch all the little ways in which Ashe had changed. Ashe stood before him in good health and standing tall, towering over Ignatz. He wondered how much more difficult kissing would be.

“I brought flowers, but they kind of wilted on the journey,” said Ashe apologetically.

“It’s the thought that counts,” said Ignatz. The only thing Ignatz truly needed from Ashe was Ashe himself. “Being here is enough.” 

Ignatz couldn’t resist anymore. He pulled Ashe close to him and kissed him. It was awkward with their new height difference.

Ashe pulled away with a smile on his face. “We’ll have to adjust to this.”

His soft laugh filled  Ignatz’s ears like music.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” said Ignatz, taking Ashe’s hand and leading him to the dining table. He could hear his mother fumbling with the teacups. “I’ve missed you much!”

“I tried writing, but I was always interrupted. I was knighted, and I’m now head of House Gaspar.”  Ignatz’s mother placed the tea in front of them. “Thank you,” said Ashe politely, taking a cup.

“You’re a noble?” asked Ignatz’s mother as she sat down. Her eyes lit up. “My dear,” she said, turning to Ignatz. “Your sweetheart is noble! You know you should have told us sooner. Oh, your father is going to be delighted to learn this.”

Ignatz rolled his eyes. While growing up, Oliver and he had always gotten a kick out of how much his parents doted on nobles. Of course, Ashe was no different from them. Ignatz suddenly felt silly for keeping Ashe from his family. Whatever feelings his parents could have potentially had about Ignatz falling in love with a man wouldn’t even matter because that man was noble.

“I’m sorry, mother. I will never keep the incredibly handsome and rich man I love away from you and father again.”

His mother laughed.

Ashe sighed and looked down at his cup of tea. “About keeping people away,  Mrs. Victor, your son, and I made a promise to each other that the next time we met would be the last.”

Ashe got up from his chair. Ignatz felt his heart pound as Ashe took a knee in front of him. 

“Ignatz Victor, I want to be with you forever. Will you marry me?”

In Ashe’s hand was a tiny silver band. Ignatz couldn’t say yes fast enough. Next to him, his mother was in tears. Ashe slipped the ring over his finger and kissed him.

“I love you,” said Ignatz as they broke apart.

“I love you too.”

It was only the second time Ignatz had heard Ashe say those words, but it felt just as passionate as the first.

The first person Ignatz had fallen in love with was also his last. They had grown so much together. Their time apart had made them stronger and now they would have a lifetime to live together in peace.


	16. Epilouge

“Alessandra and Archie wrote!” exclaimed Ashe, coming into the study. “Alessandra has won the White Heron Cup.”

“Of course she did!” boasted Lady Isabelle from her place on the couch. “I taught her everything she knows.”

“Oh nonsense, you’re a woman of many talents Izzy, but we all know dancing is not one of them,” responded Devon, dealing cards.

Before Ashe returned to Gaspar to see his siblings, he had assumed that the family they were staying with were Lonato’s extended relatives. He was surprised to discover that none other than Madam Isabelle and Devon were caring for the children. All these years, he had been paying Madam Isabelle. She was able to convert the brothel into a proper inn before selling it post-war. Now retired and with status, Lady Isabelle and Devon lived at Castle Gaspar. They spent their days playing cards and drinking in Ashe and Ignatz’s study. With the children gone to the newly rebuilt Officers Academy, it was good to have the extra company.

“Also, your mother writes, Ignatz,” said Ashe. “She wants us to take a trip this summer. She needs portraits of Juliette and Glenn.”

Ashe though it was a good idea. They hadn’t visited Leicester since Glenn, Ingrid and Raphael’s son, was born. Although Glenn wasn’t technically  Mrs Victor’s grandson, you couldn’t tell her otherwise. Ignatz and Ashe had to fight her to hold the chubby, blond boy.

“Oh, isn’t lovely that  Mrs Victor gets to have grandchildren! If only I could be so lucky!” said Lady Isabelle dramatically.

“We’ve already told you, Isabelle,” said Ashe, rolling his eyes. “We’re much too busy. My job is very demanding and Ignatz is still illustrating the book.”

“I finished.”

Ashe looked over at Ignatz, who was painting in the corner of the room. “I’m sorry?”

“I finished illustrating the book.”

“What? When?”

Ignatz cleared his throat. “This morning. We’ll send it to the publishers soon. Mercedes and Annette want copies as soon as possible.”

Ashe was delighted. The knight's tale they had been working on for the past year was complete. Ashe had written the story while Ignatz illustrated. Their dreams were finally coming true. The story of two knights falling in love that they imagined years ago was real.

“ So what are you working on?” asked Ashe.

“Oh, I just finished this.” He waved Ashe to come to look at the canvas he was working on.

It had taken seven years, but it was finally done. Ashe saw a portrait of himself as a young man dressed in full armor, looking like a knight from a book. He couldn’t believe how lifelike he looked. It took his breath away. 

“It’s perfect,” he said.

Ignatz blushed. “That’s because you’re perfect.”

Ashe wrapped his arms around his husband and kissed him the cheek. Years ago, Annette had told Ashe that Goddess worked in mysterious ways. All the ups and downs he had to deal with in life had led him here. The Goddess did have a plan for him. Her plan had given him Isabelle, it had given him Lonato, and it had given him all of his friends at the Officers Academy. Most importantly, her plan gave him Ignatz. Their journey hadn’t been easy, but looking at this painting Ashe knew that it was worth it.


End file.
